How would you bring up to someone you know (knowing the subject has already been put to their attention about their child) being extremely overweight. It’s just breaking my heart that this child is only 4 and in size 10 clothes already. I think about the impact it’s going to have not just health wise, on the body, and the mental trauma. In my opinion I think it’s child abuse, and there is no health problems bar the fact that the child is just constantly fed crap. I think about the next 20 years of struggling for this child. They don’t know any better!! It’s just breaking my heart. How would you approach this, knowing others have already made the parents aware. (Do doctors not tell the parents?) what can I do as an outsider watching in? I feel like I have a responsibility to be a voice for this child, that clearly doesn’t understand the ramifications this will have on the rest of their life.
19 Replies
This is an extremely emotive topic.
Tread lightly - although your well intentioned this may blow up in your face..
There very well may be an underlying medical issue you don’t know about! Mind your own business it’s not child abuse at all!!
I know for a fact that there is no medical issues. It is definitely child abuse
Your their dr are u? There is a lot people don’t tell others even though people think they do! It’s not child abuse in the slightest! You sound like a control freak just wanting the power over this family! I’m sure not every test under the sun has been done on a 4 year old!
Your their dr are u? There is a lot people don’t tell others even though people think they do! It’s not child abuse in the slightest! You sound like a control freak just wanting the power over this family! I’m sure not every test under the sun has been done on a 4 year old!
Not the OP here.
Obesity in children can fall into the category of neglect, especially if it's not taken seriously or if medical advice is ignored.
I'd be very surprised if this child's doctor hasn't made note of all this in their file.
It sounds like the OP is concerned, not a control freak on a power trup. It actually sounds like a lot of people in this child's life are concerned.
I worked with an obese child and the guardian would explain in detail all the medical problems this kid has been through. Its very sad but I agree that if you know the parents well then you would know if there was a medical condition. There is no medical condition that requires supersized junk food 24/7.
People have even reached out on Facebook that DONT even know this child to ask if the child is ok. It’s a multitude of people. And I feel like a horrible Human for not saying anything or being able to advocate in some way for this child. I see this child’s life being full of heart ache that could have been completely avoided.
I’m actually family, so I know a great deal, I am not a control freak. Far from it. It has nothing to do with anything medical at all. It has everything to do with this child being fed maccas, chips, chocolates, lollies ect and that’s just for breakfast. The eating never stops. And I’m not a prude either, my children eat junk, but in moderation. All I am trying to do is seek advice on how to approach this touchy subject. The child’s poor bones, body, self esteem, mental and emotional well being is at stake, and as parents I believe we have the obligation to teach our children the correct way to eat, so they don’t have to encounter all the above. I completely understand that some kids have medical issues in regards to weight. But when a child is triple the size that they should be (without taking height and or bone structure into consideration) because they are constantly being fed is absolute neglect.
I knew a girl in a similar situation, her dance teacher ,doctor and eventually a pediatrician, they all told the mother the child needed to loose weight. She eventually took her child to a dietician and went on a diet . It lasted for one week, the mother blamed everyone else ...it was too hard to give up various foods and they didn't know how hard it was ....so they never continued with medical advice. Yep you guessed it, that little girl ( despite the mum always telling me when she hit puberty she would slim down ) is now an obsese 16 year old and so is the mother. Some people do not want to hear or face the truth. You saying anything will sadly achieve nothing. Just be there as a support if the mother asks your advice.
If the child is constantly hungry that in itself could be a health condition. Does the child get aggressive if someone trys to stop them from eating too much? Do they constantly say they hurt in the tummy and feel hungry even if they just ate?
I get it.
I have a relative whose young children are severely obese. We also have a strong family history of high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes and diabetes.
It makes me angry and worries the shit out of me, especially when I've seen those kids first hand be allowed to polish off an entire family sized bag of Doritos each in one sitting, when they're already in adult sized clothes and got too overweight to be able to sit in their booster seats in the car.
They physically can't run, jump and play like typical kids, they can barely breathe properly on a good day. You can just see how much it already holds them back!
Problem is, if any of us say anything, we're the biggest assholes in the world.
Doctors say anything and they don't know what they're talking about.
Teachers express concerns about the types of snacks they have in their lunch boxes and they're just being judgmental lunch box nazis.
I really don't know what you can do when there's that level of denial.
Theyve been told, all you can really do is watch it or keep away. You can have your say too but if theyre not wanting to change then youre probably not going to make her do it either.
Always take new exciting healthy foods around. Always meet at a park or beach or scooter ride. Dont push her, but most 4 years olds love to play if given the chance. Remember she will be tired and hurt quicker, and she will be hungrier, but stay positive. Rest her up, snuggle her up, feed her up on good foods, praise what shes did or tried.
You wont change her life as parents have much more sway than an outsider, but you might spark something in the parent and id not, at least youve given the kid a fun time and love.
There is such thing as Prader willie syndrome where kids just have a constant sense of hunger and keep eating. If this kid was just eating junk all day and didn’t have a medical condition they would be very very ill all the time. It’s worth mentioning it to the parents how worried you are and get them to see a specialist for the kid and even see another gp if current one is no good. Suggest they see a dietitian for themselves and kid.
It’s not your child so you don’t get to have an opinion. Mind your business
If you think it is child abuse then maybe call Child Safety and have them do a welfare check on the child and her family.
You could tell the mother your thoughts and feelings but I seriously doubt you will be heard. I am sure many health professionals and even daycare/kindy teachers have all probably said something
I understand your concern but really it’s not your place to say anything. My niece was a huge girl from 4-12 but yet very active and ate really well. She’s slimming out as she gets older and I’m happy for her but would never have wanted to make her or her mum feel any worse than they already felt as of course they’re aware of it.
Sorry, but one of my children is 6 and takes a size 12, he actually takes the same size as my 13yo.
He eats the exact same food as everyone else in our house.
He has taken after his Dad who's 6'7" and a solid build (Solid and in broad and muscular, not fat).
My son is also head and shoulders above his peers.
Unfortunately he gets judged because our other two children have taken after me, very slim.
Unless you see them feeding him a large big Mac meal, a party bag of chips and large pizza every day, please don't judge.
My opinion, as a child health professional, is to make a report to child protection.
It is a clear cut case of neglect.
There are a myriad of issues with this family and it doesn’t sound like they will listen to anyone unless they are forced to.