Hi all, without going into a really long story, I left a long term emotionally abusive marriage With 2 young children and my ex husband is becoming more and more unpredictable and quite scary.
The children regularly stay with him but he is so angry at me, that I am actually getting scared for everyone’s welfare.
He is sending threats through messages if I don’t let the kids stay with him (as they are scared) and I have This I’ll feeling that he is Going to do something to the kids as he is very unstable.
There are no legal court orders in place yet, I have spoken to the police about what I could do and they are no help, does anyone have any advice On how to protect ourselves or deny access until something legal is sorted out?
Thank you so much, I’m feeling sick.
Young kids welfare with ex husband
Young kids welfare with ex husband
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Kids
6 Replies
Go to a womens centre, they have info and resources.
I’d NOT send the kids if they are scared and don’t want to go.
Block his number and have nothing to do with him.
Keep the kids with you and go to the courthouse today and get an interim custody order so you can legally keep them until you have sorted something out. If you have messages with threats on them you have evidence for an AVO or similar hopefully. I would got the kids into a psychologist ASAP and hopefully they will pick up the kids are scared and report. Get legal advice too. Good luck and hugs this must be awful and you are totally right to protect your kids and yourself from possible harm
I am currently witholding my child from access to the dad also. I experienced alot of what you have described. Threats through text, but maily phone calls. He even rocked up at my job after telling me the night before he would come to my work and stab me if I didn't do... so many other things happened too. It was a long process to me stopping contact completely. First it was a weekend here and there, me picking child up early, going back and forth from police/lawyers, batteling my own judgement on myself etc. There were small periods then long periods of no access just calls before I just couldn't do it anymore. We broke up when my child was 2. 5 years of this bs.My child last saw dad just before turning 8 (now 12)
My questions, How do the kids feel? Have you spoken to him about the situation? If so what was his response? Is he a good dad when he has kids in his care? Have you got the money to get a decent lawyer? (Legal aid can be basic especially if he has money to get a better one) court proceedings can and will be expensive. Your children will be appointed their own lawyer. If not I offer the following..
My advice is trust your gut, you know him better than anyone! If you honestly feel this is the best decision its all in, and it will get bumpy, really fucking bumpy! Get yourself a good support network. Friends, family, inform your boss (you don't have to go into detail, just a heads up not to communicate any info about you to him, especially if they have met him or spent time with him) Change childcare/school/ employment venues/houses asap. You have no rights BTW courts only take the rights of the children in to consideration. He has just as much rights as you do, and can also withhold the children from you.
The police can't do anything until he actually does something, go figure that sent me crazy with worry for everyones welfare including my parents who he also threatened. Keep every single text he has sent you, send a copy to your email incase it accidentally gets deleted. Stop answeeing his texts or calls, but if you do remain nice, your texts also come into play should you go to court. Block on social media, be prepared for contact from his family/friends too. I wish you the best of luck as I know first hand this is not how you pictured things being. Sending you lots of love and hugs. You got this mumma!
Get legal advice. Today. Know exactly where you stand.
Yes pack your kids and your belongings and move where he can’t find you.