😥 I don't know if i have a question or what I need I just need to get this all out before it totally consumes me. I am so alone. I have been with my partner for 21 years have 3 girls. He works i don't. I do all the housework cooking looking after kids. He mows the lawn if I am lucky. Comes straight home from work and out the back to sit and smoke and look at his phone. If I try go sit with him and have a chat about how his day was i get grunts or one word answers or sometimes just a straight up leave me alone I have had a busy day. He doesn't tell me anything hardly talks to me. Doesn't eat dinner with us. Comes upstairs when the kids have gone to bed so spends no time with them. I have no friends i dont let myself have friends because i know one day they will ask to go for dinner/movie kid free and I can't he won't watch the kids. There is so much more but i would be here all night. I feel so trapped i can't leave i have nothing but I dont think my heart can take much more. I am just so so sad and feel like such a failure. I wish i had more confidence and strength but at the moment i have nothing left
7 Replies
Honestly I hate talking when I finish work. I get that. But you should make friends. You don't need to ask permission. Tell him you're going out of Friday night, or Sunday morning or whatever and he needs to be home or You need a babysitter. Also, tell him he eats with the family or cooks for himself.
How old are the kids? You've been together 21 years, can they stay home alone now? Or are they all under mid primary school age? Also, time to get you some hobbies, study, or a job..
That's a lot of nothing for yourself for 21 years. it's your turn now!
I feel sad reading this, I wish you could see that you deserve so much more. If things are like this I would not be sticking around. Time for you to look after yourself and be happy again. Life is to short xxx I am sending lots of love and strength to you.
Aren’t your kids at school?
Time to get a job, it will change everything.
Then make a decision about him.
Stuff that! Why put up with it? Only you can change it. Clearly he isn’t going to change so stand up for yourself and expect nothing less! Don’t say you can’t leave, because you can. You have just been with him that long the change seems daunting. Trust me, you and your kids will thank you for it. Also... your kids can definitely see/feel how shit your relationship is with thier dad. Time to show them how a woman is supposed to be treated 💪🏻
I feel o sad for you reading this. But that enough wallowing. Right. First of all - go on a walk every day. I don’t know how old your kids are but if they can’t stay home take them with you. Then you need to get a job. Something between school hours even. You have no self esteem. A little bit of exercise and working for some cash will help. As your self esteem increases you can start telling your husband to pick up his act. He may work all week but SO DO YOU!!! Being a stay at home mum is not easy. Get out there babe! Talk to mums at school pickup. Or at kids swimming. Or at the park. It may take you years to find a good group of friends but all this is practice conversing for when you do. You can do it! Just start!!
OMG he won’t watch his own kids do you can get out of the house and have some sort of life? Just walk out one night, join a gym or a class where you can meet people and tell him I’ll be back at.... and go. Or hire a babysitter!! He sounds like a dick to be honest but you have to stand up for yourself and show your girls this isn’t a life. If he’s not going to give you any time or time off then walk. You will get single parent and child support and at least 50% of the house, his superannuation etc. Your girls deserve a happy independent mum to role model from. It’s not the 1800’s, your husband doesn’t own you. You are FREE to make your own choices and the life you deserve.