Hey sisterhood, currently we are renting and are expecting our second child. I have this horrilbe guilt of renting a house, and our children not having a "house" where they can paint their walls and destroy the house š keeping in mind we are young and our children are young. Is it worth the stress doing everything you can to buy to remove the guilt, or go towards the attitude of a house will come just enjoy life? #mumguilt
19 Replies
For me ? I would own. But itās always a personal choice. I wanted to be able to give it to my son when heās older
Never feel guilty for where you are in life. Focus on where your going and how you plan to get there.
Donāt feel guilty, I feel the same though and itās definitely a goal of mine, Iāve recently started saving for a deposit and while itās going to be a long term plan as Iām a single mum itās nice to be able to see Iām making some progress towards my dream, maybe open a savings account and just start putting a little in each week.
I rent and have a 4 and 6 yo. We are currently savings for a house and have 10% (so could buy now if we wanted to fork out LMI) but I'd rather make sure we are in optimal position to be buying and have 20% so we are waiting. It will take a while....
I always wanted to be a young mum and never saw renting an issue. I knew I would have my own home at some stage but my main goal was always to be a mum and my financial home status doesn't matter so much.
Don't feel guilty. If it is a priority for you, then start making goals and kick them over..
I don't feel guilty at all! They have a place to live even if it's rented.
Remember people that own and paint walls and draw height charts also sell and move.
Do whatever suits you right now.
I rent, have 3 kids and we're low income earners so the likelihood of owning our own home is slim to none (at least while the kids are young).
My home owner status bothers other people so much more than it has ever bothered me, which kind of pisses me off because I've heard every negative in the book and I'm assuming you have too to feel so needlessly guilty.
I've lived in the same rental for 10 years, I've lived in the same suburb for 15.
As a child I attended 3 different primary schools, 2 different high schools and you guessed it - my parents owned!
Renting doesn't mean you can't make a home, it doesn't take away your ability to decorate or express your style, it just means you need to be a little more creative.
And it certainly won't rob your children of anything. As long as you provide your kids somewhere safe and happy to live, you have nothing at all to feel guilty about!
My husband and i have rented all our lives. 35 years. And raised our kids who are now adults.. And even in all this time I'm still not interested in buying. You can still lose your own home in the event of job loss, a partners death, and health ussues. No different to the same drawbacks from renting if it got serious enough. Insurance back up doesn't last forever in the event of a devastating problem.
Same here.
I can think of a bucket load of things to actually feel guilty about as a parent. Renting is not one of them.
While owning a home and being able to make changes to it is lovely, not doing those things isnāt going to damage a child.
Gosh, your kids have food, clothing, love and toys.
Donāt sweat things that are so insignificant to a child.
Can I say I have the mortgage but canāt afford to style my kids rooms anyway š„
We are all just doing what we can.
Remember there is always someone who wants exactly what you have š be proud
If it makes you feel better, Iām a single mum who bought my own place and it really needs renovating, plus my son said itās so small, okay for a holiday but not to live in lol Think he would prefer to live in a rented bigger house. Kids donāt care if you rent or own, they just care about how much stuff they have. With a mortgage, mine doesnāt get a lot of stuff ššš
Personally, I feel a lot better about mine and my kids future now that I own a house. But honestly, if your kids are loved, fed and have a roof over their head, thatās all that really matters! There are many kids in much worse situations than having to live in a rented house so donāt let it get you down, youāre giving your kids an amazing loving childhood (your guilt shows that you love them tremendously)!
Make it a goal to own a house, but donāt feel guilty about not owning one. There are more important things in life.
I honestly donāt think itās something that kids think about. We have a mortgage, weāve renovated but honestly Iād rather be debt free than in debt up to my eyeballs. It all looks nice on paper but the reality is that a family makes a home- not the dwelling ā¤ļø As long as my husband and I are set up for the future and not relying on our kids itās not an issue. My MIL just bought her first home at 65 š¤
Ugh, I carry this guilt daily, I know how you feel, š¢
We rent now but have built 3 houses, the last one we lost due to our business going bust in 2011 and havenāt been able to buy since, it bothers my teenagers as their friends parents mostly own and one of my teens friends is upgrading to acreage and is helping to design her own room and en-suite, and I get the why canāt we,
I feel weāre letting the kids down for their future,
I just canāt see how we can afford it, and fear in old age we will have no where affordable to rent, and be homeless, Iām actually really scared about it, (weāre 40 and 48)
Sorry to be a downer š¬
We rented for 10 years and have lived with my parents for 3 years while we saved enough money to build our house. We have three kids. We lived in the one rental for 10 years and we tried to keep moving to a minimum. I do feel guilty. My eldest is almost 13 and Iām sad she will only be in our house for 5 years (assuming she moves out when she is 18.. happy for her to stay as long as possible) my mindset has changed now we are building.. the kids have seen the struggle and how hard we have worked to get our own house. I hope this helps them in the future rather than assuming a house will appear. I also believe that it doesnāt matter when you buy a house as long as you have one for your retirement years. I used to say I didnāt care when we bought because I knew I had enough savings in my super to pay for a house in the future. Everyoneās journey is different and we need to stop comparing and being compared to everyone
I rent and have 2 children and I totally get this guilty feeling. My ex husband and I owned a couple of houses and built as well. But after we divorced 6 years ago, I havenāt been in a position to buy. I was a stay at home mum and the kids went to private school, my ex and I go 50/50 of ALL costs and unfortunately my expenses were more then what I was bringing in so I had to dip well into my savings for the first few years. Iāve worked hard and Iām finally in a place that I should be able to buy in 12 months time and I donāt think anyone really understands just how much this means to me, to be able to do this for my children. If itās something you want, work for it. Put a plan in place, try and save a little each week and be prepared to go without certain things to make your dream a reality.
We canāt afford to buy a house in our area so weāve always rented. Kids (now 15 and 9) were settled happy in schools and we didnāt want to move out of the area just to buy a house. So we bought an apartment in the area and lived in it for 2 yrs so we got the first home owners grant. Now we rent the apartment out and we rent a bigger house in the same area. This way my husband and I will have a retirement home. Itās called rentvesting. Google it. The rent that comes in from the apartment pretty much covers the cost of our mortgage.
Just enjoy enjoy your life with them. Donāt feel guilty.