Hi!
I’d love to hear from other couples who are part of the swinging community about how they got into it, how/if it has affected their marriage, if they enjoyed it, what their first encounter was like etc.
We’re considering jumping into this lifestyle and hearing from people who have been amongst it would be wonderful.
Swinging with another couple
Swinging with another couple
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
4 Replies
I wasn't actually in a relationship but I did have threesomes with couples for a while and I've seen how it's affected them. IMO, only couples who started the relationship doing that were successful in staying together but couples who were monogamous at first then decided it later didn't end up working out. Not saying every couple is like this but this is based on what I've personally seen.
Open communication. Work out beforehand what you are both ok/not ok with. For us, we always play as a couple with others, if the other party/parties are not open to both us being involved then its a no from both of us. We dont go off seprately with other people, but thats just our thing. Also our swinging has always been an addition to our existing sexual relationship, if either of us are feeling off, then its not on. Boundaries can change on the night, especially in the beginning, be ok to say to each other "i think id be ok with x, y or z" BUT if the time comes and you actually are not, you both have to be ok with speaking up and both walking away from that particular activity.
For us it isnt the be all and end all, we are ok with not going to event and havent been for quite sometime (even before COVID becuase of illness and now pregnancy) but if you are willing give it a whirl but be prepared (both of you) to walk away from it of either of you become not ok
My partner and I swing, it’s been a rollercoaster at times.
Make sure you have rules, be open to change them as needed and communication is key, lots!
We regularly see a couple together and go to Swingers parties.
We did see people separately but that was starting to cause issues as the girls (mostly single) wanted more from him than I was willing to allow, so that’s on hold atm.
To start with I’d stick with couple play and playing together. Once comfortable then talk about playing separately. Register as a couple on adult matchmaker, red hot pie and tinder to find similar couples and have fun!
I don’t mean this to come across harshly I just speak from my personal experience. If this is where the relationship is headed then it’s over. I’d move on now take a break from other people and work on myself. Atleast that’s what I’d do now if I could go back, but I cannot change the past only learn from it. My advice is don’t do it and people can hate on that advice all they want. It can be taken with a grain of salt, but knowing what I know now if my partner ever asked this of me again I would not go there.