I asked my partner to marry me tonight with the help of our kids! He answered me with god no why would I do that! I’m so broken I don’t know how I feel and the kids are just completely lost to! I’m not sure what I’m asking but maybe people who have been turned down and got though it
17 Replies
Oh my god, poor love. How serious is the relationship? Have you spoken about marriage? I think you need to let your kids know that you followed your heart and that youll be okay whatever.
He did not need to be so rude though! Hope youll be having a very honest chat soon. And dont try to argue, just really listen and hear his thoughts on it all. Then do what you have to do depending on how that aligns with your own values. Good luck thats a hard knock to take x
Are the kids his bio kids? Was he joking? Being a bit of silly turd of a guy? Mine sometimes thinks he is soooo funny.
If he was serious then wtf?
Most people would assume someone you have multiple kids with was a safe bet for marriage. I’d be heartbroken too.
I think you need to work out a couple of things. Firstly what are his feelings on marriage and relationships. Does he just not believe in marriage, or does he genuinely think you aren’t his forever person. Based on his answers and wether you feel marriage is a deal breaker or not you have some tough decisions are ahead of you.
It’s better to know that he isn’t in it for the long haul than waste your life with the wrong person.
We have been together 6 years today! The kids are his one is my step daughter the other we have together! Marriage to him has always been a big thing to me not so much! We have spoke about it a few times! It’s not like it’s the first time it’s ever been brought up!
Well I bordered on whether you involved the kids for leverage, but based on your history theres no 2 ways, he is an absolute cunt for the way he responded.
I totally agree 🙌
When say it's a big thing to him, do you mean he's pushed for you to be married and you've resisted or that he doesn't believe in it or is scared of it? Also, is this after a fight or something?
It was probably a shock for him if the topic has never come up before.
Sending hugs
Ask why.
I'm him, and you know what?
My partner has never asked why...
No we have spoke about it and even he said the kids would like to be involved so when I spoke to them about it they are 9 and 5 they were all for it! I also wanted to speak to his daughter to make sure she was ok with it! He is the person that has always wanted to get married where as I’m not that worried about getting married! I defiantly didn’t use the kids as leverage if I had have thought in any way he may have responded in the way he did I wouldn’t have ever even Mentioned it to them!
Have you spoken about it yet? About why he reacted so awfully? Has he fixed that to you? To the kids?
We have and he can’t give me a straight answer!
Yikes, probably not the best idea to involve your kids in something like that.
What an absolute prick though, he could have said something more diplomatic, is this how he is usually rolls?
I assume not if you want to marry the guy.
Anyone would be upset/devastated, not sure how you move forward, but I would be having a serious conversation about his lack of sensitivity, especially with the kids present.
He is normally not like that at all! I honestly didn’t think he would react badly!
Ignore the people saying you shouldn’t have involved the kids, you thought it was the best thing to do given your previous conversations. Like you can go back and uninvolve them 🙄 It would have been a really beautiful thing had it all worked out.
No advice other than agreeing with asking him why and make sure he knows how much he hurt you. I’m so sorry that this happened... You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, his reaction was really hurtful and insensitive xx
Just to think outside the box, is it possible he's got a proposal planned for you and your proposal kinda threw a spanner in the works?
Is it possible he felt emasculated by you doing the proposing?
Some men can be easily threatened when something they perceive to be "their job" is taken out of their control.
It just seems like such an unexpected reaction considering you guys have discussed marriage and you have a family together.
OR, maybe there's some significant issues within your relationship that would make marriage right now an absolute disaster.
Any better today?