Hey guys I’m just wondering if it’s a “thing” for people to promise kids a day out whether it be shopping or to a kids play centre or even just chilling at home, to then break that promise and never end up taking them? I’ve got a couple of family members who over the years havent got anything for my now 6yos birthday but have promised (to her face) a day out and then have never taken her. Kids don’t forget these things and as kids do, she’s asked multiple times. I’ve then asked the people that have promised her who keep saying “when we get free time or when we aren’t working” but it’s never happened. I’m starting to get over these “presents” for her birthday because she’s left wondering and asking when it’s going to happen. Do I tell these people we would prefer they didn’t do it anymore? I don’t want to tell them they have to get her an actual present, I just don’t want anymore broken promises. I’d rather they didn’t get her anything at all to be honest. It’s also not about money as I’ve even offered to pay and they have refused and said it was about time not money. She’s been promised to be taken to a Kids trampoline place, shopping, the wild life park and the zoo. Thanks!
7 Replies
Time probably is an issue. Ask them to look in their calendar and get back to you with a date because she's getting upset.
I completely sympathise with you on this. My SIL and BIL are classic for this.
It's not a thing. It's just some people do it, then couldn't be bothered following through, forget or are just trying to get out of it. My DB used to do it. He said he'll take mum to dinner as a birthday gift next time she visits. He never has, she hasn't forgotten. He also did it to my kids so I've just gotten him to agree on no gifts unless we see them. It's easier!
It's a good opportunity to teach your DD that some people forget or don't follow through. Next time these people offer, get them to set a date with your DD & gently remind them beforehand. If they don't want to, tell them she was devastated last time it was promised & didn't happen. I have no issue making people aware it's not ok when it comes to my kids.
Otherwise just say you don't seem to have the time, why not give her a gift instead?
My mum does this.
It's unfortunately been a good life lesson for my kids - they've learnt from a young age that not everyone is reliable and keeps to their word.
It's also taught them to keep to promises they make because they know how it feels to be let down.
They're tweens/teens now and they don't expect anything from nan. They don't have much time for her at all because she didn't put in the effort when it mattered.
You reap what you sow with children. In the long run, your relatives will be the ones to miss out because of their own apathy. Their loss I say 🤷♀️
Yep after one time, the next time they say it to her you correct and say well lets not promise that as shes still asking about last time.
Or even the first time, you say you know children remember promises and will hound me over this?? Get them to lock in a date or day, otherwise dont promise it.
Nope, that is a shitty thing to do and IMO is not a common thing. Get them a voucher for the experience. Don't just promise it. Kids do not forget.