Stay at home mums that left an unhealthy marriage where did you start?. I have no support I have no where to go I haven't worked since my oldest was born (12 years) I have no self esteem I feel totally and utterly alone I just know I can't stay with my husband anymore
5 Replies
If you can, start with counselling. You are going to need some emotional support to leave.
A lot depends on how unhealthy the marriage is. Is there financial abuse, emotional abuse, is he aggressive?
More details help. You might be entitled to support to leave through an organisation.
Honestly I need more information.
Would he be open to a separation under the one roof why you save some money? Do you have joint/family savings you can access?
He isn't abusive just shut off emotionally not willing to put any effort in our relationship drinks every night smokes weed every night falls asleep on the couch then he's tired the next day has no patients with our children and they suffer aswell. he isnt willing to stop drinking or smoking hes angry all the time we don't even have a friendship anymore. We have a joint account, he would allow me to stay while I get on my feet but I would have to sleep on couch. Ill look into counciling thank you for replying to me. I appreciate it.
I applied for places online through realestate..com.
Chose the area, found an area i could afford that i liked, applied until i was successful. (Moved again locally after the first 6 month lease). I was a stay at home mum completely alone in a new town. I gave myself time to settle in, found clubs, lessons, playgroups etc. Then when i was ready to work I put kids into daycare first (its affordable as a single mum) and started. I was also so nervous about starting, and how finances would work out, it was really hard emotionally to set up but Im so happy now.
Its been a constant struggle but I like to think of it more as growth, because its hard but it really is better and better, so much better when I compare back to where I was beforehand.
Unhealthy in what way? I ask because i am in the same position at the moment and I rang centrelink and ask to speak to a social worker there, once I did she said what I was experiencing was domestic abuse, my parnter isnt violent but is emotionally abusive. She said I could file for separation thru centrelink and separated but living under the one roof which I did once i realised for myself that it indeed was emotionally abuse. I filled out all the paperwork without him knowing and took it to centrelink, it was granted that very day, i also had to apply for single parent and that took less then a week, all without him knowing! My next step is to find a rental and to leave and I plan to move during the day when he is at work.
So it is doable! I have have 6 kids and its going to be hard mentally but my kids
and I deserve better and I know that. Good luck and big hugs!
I started with a domestic violence refuge. Then I got a government house. Then I started a new job and got a house in a better area with a real estate. It all takes time. But when you start from nothing, the only way is up. Just never give up, keep strong, keep going day by day.