Hi Sisterhood this may be a touchy subject to some so I apologise in advance.
But for those that have been cheated on, how did you know? How did you find out? Was it gut feelings? Lack of intimacy? Change of behaviour in your OH?
Hi Sisterhood this may be a touchy subject to some so I apologise in advance.
But for those that have been cheated on, how did you know? How did you find out? Was it gut feelings? Lack of intimacy? Change of behaviour in your OH?
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14 Replies
I knew the basically 5 minutes after getting home. Not as affectionate, distant, quiet etc. he folded fast!
I was stood in the laundry putting a load of washing on while my best friend was stood beside me crying about how she needed to get an abortion because her boyfriend didn’t want the baby. I put my hand in my partners pants pocket and pulled out an empty condom wrapper, she looked at me and asked me not to confront him while she was there because she didn’t want to be apart of it. I didn’t say anything to him that night. But the next day his best friend called me and told me that he had been bragging about sleeping with my best friend and the whole town knew. It had been going on for 18 months. The baby she was carrying was his
Omg. I seriously hope this is an ex best friend and ex boyfriend.
I don’t know how you coped with this level of betrayal.
I’m so gobsmacked at the audacity of both of them.
Both ex’s now. They didn’t last long after I kicked him out. I think the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that it started while I was in hospital after giving birth to our second child.
All the power to you mate, your one strong women and I absolutely admire your strength!
Wow, sometimes reality is harsher that’s fiction.
They both lost, hugs to you xxxx
Woman 1.
She was my best friend and lived two houses down from us. ..i was pregnant with our first baby. He would sneak out late at night to meet her at the park in the dark for bareback sex. I suspected he was getting it somewhere else because he stopped pressuring me for daily sex . Her housemate eventually told me. Ridiculously, i forgave him.
Woman 2.
Secret phone conversations, a change in mood, condoms in the car, locked doors at our home that were never locked, overflowing ashtrays, bins full of teabags, blinds in our bedroom were shut in the day, bed had been clumsily remade, a pair of female shoes by the door that weren't mine. Plus he was taking on some of her mannerisms, and doing her multiple favours.
This is what i would see when i would arrive home from being out.
Long story short, i came home one day to find he had moved out and moved in with her.
We had two sons.
I moved on to better things.
They lasted a year. This was 35 years ago.
To this day, the vile filth is still a cheater. Heard from his own family recently that while his wife was dying of cancer two years ago he was fucking another woman. A few days after the passing of his wife, he moved the new fuck buddy into their home. The bloke never ever changed.
Once a cheater , always a cheater in almost ALL cheating cases.
I have, my partner started being really distant and in general just off.. he started going out more and one night said he was going fishing... came home late 100% smelling good. I knew straight away... he denied denied denied, once I knew I looked for proof. Ended up easy to find.. new fb friend, looked at her page and yip was all over her page about her new man names and all.
Yes, change in behaviour, protective over his phone - put passcode on phone, distant, was going out with 'work' friends more often (she worked at his work). I found out because I learnt his passcode and got his phone when he accidentally left it behind. He had ended it with her the previous night - proven through texts. There was no sex involved (also proven) and so we are still together, after much soul searching and him proving he wanted to be here with his family. It's a hard road and it took a good 3 to 4 years for me to be okay.
I had NO idea. I was due to have a baby in 12 days and he asked me to sell his old phone. I turned it on to reset it ready for a new owner and it automatically hooked up to the internet and the Facebook messages just came up. I had to drag the truth out of him and I found out it happened when I was around 6 months pregnant. That anger and hurt is really tough to deal with ontop of pregnancy and newborn days.
Omg what an absolute dog he is!!
Your gut never lies. That “feeling” you get that you just can’t explain, that’s it.
It all depends on how experienced he is at cheating. The more he has done it the less obvious it is because it’s like second nature.
The primary one is being protective of his phone. Never leaving it around unattended. Sometimes they try to pick fights over stupid stuff to divert your attention away from their sneaky behaviour.
New communication apps on their phone is a big red flag! Especially any that don’t keep a history of messages ie Snapchat.
To begin with they are usually not too careful with finer details like bank transactions. It’s a bit obvious if they made a transaction a decent distance from where they were supposed to be but when asked how work was or what they did for lunch, neither answer explains the charge for a servo or food outlet 5 suburbs away.
Hiding phones, changing passwords, change in behaviour, anger, you just know deep down when something isn’t right, your gut doesn’t lie.
Not looking at me, always on phone, never home- always has something to do. Mentioning the woman’s name as a “friend”. Just couldn’t help himself