I have been separated from the father of my teenage daughter since she was little. At the start we shared care but he since hat to moved for work. He regularly pays child support over $1500 via CSA, which barley covers my costs. I know that many mothers get nothing, but I am a stay at home mum, never worked since I have 4 other children and therefore have no income other then Centrelink and my partners income.
Over the years he agreed to pay for additional things my daughter needs, such as laptop, school items and doctor visits.
I have asked him to pay an additional $800 this month to pay towards my daughters formal. We already have booked the car, photographer and so on. He is refusing to pay this month any extra. He has given my daughter $500 towards her formal but I don’t think it’s fair that she has to use that money for her own formal. I am so upset and not sure what I should do. My current partner doesn’t want to contribute, child support doesn’t cover my expenses and I am always in dept somewhere.
He is a good dad, he just doesn’t understand that the money he gives us doesn’t cover our expenses. He has children with his new partner, he should know how much kids cost.
What should I do? Can I go through CSA to ask for the additional needed funds? I am super stressed and can’t sleep. My anxiety is through the roof.
Help!
39 Replies
What? Are you joking? Considering the current climate the formal may not even go ahead.
I think you are being extremely rude and entitled.
Is this a gee up?
I think if you need more money and struggling to pay bills you and your teenage daughter need to get a job.
-He pays more than enough a month in child support for one child.
- he gave her extra money for her formal (exactly what you asked for)
- child support isn’t to cover YOUR costs. It’s to HELP with expenses
- you chose to have ore kids and not work.
- he has another child (like you have 4 others) so YOU should understand that money doesn’t grow in trees, he has other people to support.
- if your partner doesn’t want to contribute, that’s his choice.
If your in debt, get a fucking job!
He isn’t under any obligation to pay more than the child support. Your probably Lucky he contributed $500 to the formal.
It is unfortunately time to get a job. Life is exy. Your lucky to get this far without working tbh.. 5 children are expensive - they can’t support themselves you have to step up mumma!
Are you smoking crack? There is a very obvious answer here...
I feel like you need to live within your means. If you are going into debt over a formal then perhaps you need to cancel the car and drop your daughter off. Maybe cancel the photographer and take photos on your camera? $1500 is for a month I assume? Thats $375 a week? Plus your partner's income and your centrelink income. He's already given $500. I think that's plenty. He has another child to support. Maybe he genuinely can't afford an extra $800 on top of the $2000 he will give you this month.
This cannot possibly be true....
You have a partner, you’re not alone like a lot of us.
He pays 1500 a month for one child?
Paid 500 for formal.
Wow and you want more.
I’m sure this is just to rile us all up, I’m not taking the bait, but good try.
No one could possibly be this entitled.
It’s not his job to cover YOUR costs.
It’s his job to contribute a portion of your daughters costs.
It’s not his problem that you decided to be a stay at home mum with 4 other children. You chose that, not him. If you couldn’t afford that you shouldn’t have done it.
Maybe it’s fine to face reality and get a job or maybe you shouldn’t have booked things in you couldn’t afford!
Maybe you should get a JOB! Or maybe you shouldn’t have saddled yourself with your current partner, if he isn’t contributing to your other kids care and helping you cover your own expenses.
I’m sorry but that’s a lot of money and we all have to spend money that fits our budget. Take photos yourself like everyone else did back in the day, buy a second hand dress if you can’t afford new. If you can’t afford it, don’t spend it!
He gave her $500 towards her formal already, that’s exactly what she should spend it on, her FORMAL.
It’s just a formal, not a wedding!
I hope this is a troll post 🙄
My husband receives $25 per week child support for my 14yo SS. I can assure you that $25 is just a drop in the ocean of fees and expenses for a teenager. We pay for his new school, the uniform, laptop etc, along with braces, glasses, physio etc. Because he is OUR responsibility. We have 3 kids together and you know what I did? I went back to work when my youngest was 6 months, for us to continue to provide everything for ALL of our kids.
Sometimes we just have to say no. Sometimes the 14yo has to save money to buy himself the $200 pair of runners he is so desperate for.
Don't be greedy. What you are getting is more than enough. Read Barefoot Investor and learn to live within your means 🤷♀️
This must be a troll post.
Just in case it isn't, that $1500 is more than enough for contribution to living costs for a teenager. I have a 16 year old and my ex pays $1200 a month and even I think that is too much but my ex is an asshole and has cut his child out of his life so I take it on behalf of my child as compensation for him. He does not need to contribute more than what CSA has told him to, it's nice if he does but he doesn't have to. Especially when already paying a high amount for one child.
Tell that to my husbands ex wife haha.
Make do, thats what you should do. Stop putting it on him because you had 4 other kids. You afford what you can afford. He gave her 500 for prom, its only fair that she puts that on her prom. and say thank you!
1500$ for one child or the whole lot of them?
I wont say anything else.
Reading the post its for the one child, the teenager. Her new partner is the father of her other 4 kids.
Im shocked by this post. Gotta be a troll who's hiding under the bridge post.
How about get a bloody job and stop wanting men and tax payers to keep providing huge expenses to your kids. Look at you go blaming the ex , current husband, and Centrekink for the fact that you don't help provide for your own kids.
You are the typical bludger the system talks about dispising.
Sorry, I can't agree with that. You need to alter your budgeting. The father actually sounds very generous and supportive of his daughter. He must be putting boundaries in place. Money cant just be thrown left, right and centre. I know single mothers who managed to keep costs low - it's possible. This post is so out there I wonder if it's legit. It's sad that the education system doesn't teach kids to budget anymore because so many are living beyond means in this day and age.
And here I was paying for my formal
Myself
Same! And there's no good reason to spend $800 on a formal! My dress was $99, shoes we're $40, I had $12 press on nails, did my own hair and make-up and got driven there in my aunty's Honda 😂
If you cant afford it you cant have it! Its a good lesson to learn, especially for a young adult about to be independent and with low income. Debt isnt fun. Overspending isnt fun. Doesnt mean its a hard no, it means prioritise, and work to cut the budget and find those deals.
My dress fabric cost $50, made the dress myself. Shoes I already had, painted my nails myself, did my own make up, paid for my own ticket. Did chip in for a shared limo with a group of friends. Parents took our pics.
I just don’t get why people are needing so much money for what is a high school event.
If the daughters role model hasn’t worked a day in her life, makes lifestyle choices she can’t afford and expects everyone else to finance her, even expects more on top and shows the daughter that she should keep her formal money, not spend it on its purpose, how entitled do you think the daughter will be?
The daughter will grow up to think this is normal for women.
Child support is for covering half of the costs, his half, the other half comes from you, your life choices of being a stay at home mum is not his reaponsibility to bear. And if he gave her $500 for her formal, why is it unreasonable for her to use it for the formal?
It sounds like he's done everything he needs to. I don't understand why there is an issue here. And if that is $1500/month, then you are bleeding money somewhere. Because 1 child does not cost that much every month. You don't really say whether the other children are his or not.
But regardless, I don't feel he is the one being unreasonable.
She says in the top paragraph that he is only the father to their teenage daughter. She has since had 4 other children
You need to cut back on costs, she doesn’t need a limo/special car, she doesn’t need a photographer. You’ve added all these extras in these are your costs not his. If your child wants all these extra then she needs to get a job to afford them or you do.
Only $1500 you are being selfish this is on you. This is not his job to pay for all of the extra when he already contributes already.
Women like you are the reason so many people complain that their partners are getting ripped off by their exes 🤦🏼♀️
Um wow.
I'm going to try to be as polite as I can.
I think you need to sit down and really think hard about what you have written here.
He HAS contributed toward her formal. $500!!!!!
Thats a lot of money. If you're strapped for cash, she doesn't need a fancy car to go in. She doesn't Need a photographer.
I truly think you're living beyond your means because you already receive a pretty good chunk of money per month to help raise her. He's not supposed to pay 100% for her care, you are still required to pay for half of her care and if you can't do that on what you already receive from him then I think you need to see a financial counsellor.
It's not your partners responsibility either.
You need to get yourself a job so you can support your 4 children. It looks as if you ex is paying more than enough for his child and has given her $500 for her formal. He is not needing to support your other children as well that is you and their dads responsibility. Be thankful that he does pay a decent amount in child support.
Perhaps your daughter should get a part time job if she wants more for her formal, I know with my children I paid (with a limit) for the dress, they worked and saved for everything else they wanted. Gives them a sense of achievement and sets them up for success in adulthood instead of a sense of entitlement.
Sorry but you do realise that you too are supposed to help cover costs for your daughter right?
You went on to have more children which was tour choice but that’s not an excuse to not work and complain about “how little” you get. Time for a job sweetheart
Are u kidding I’m on centrelink my self and my son’s father doesnt pay child support unless I tell him my son needs something that I cant afford as it has come up short notice or if something that he needs broke unexpectedly u need to learn to finically look after ur self and ur kids on ur own and $1500 a month is more then enough to get everything she needs for her formal stop being so greedy and get a god dam job
Are you for real?
I have 4 kids, eldests father pays $5.06 a fortnight, yes that decimal place is in the right spot.
Kids go to private school, I have a mortgage and not a single other debt.
How, I WORK! I live within my means. I budget. I provide for my family!
Stop expecting someone else to do it for you. Your life, your kids, your responsibility.
Wow. I am a single mum of 4, work full time and get absolutely no financial support from their Father, he has lied to CS, Centrelink and his work place - where he works fulltime and earns a hell of a lot more than me and still here I am, making it work! My kids know I cant afford things sometimes, but they see me absolutely bust my ass to get them what we have, and I'm proud of that! You're new partner sounds like an ass for not contributing tbh, I'm assuming the other 4 kids are his? If you have to stay home to raise them then he should be helping support your child as well since you're clearly not working.. I came here to try and not judge but come on, I'd feel like I won the lotto if my ex gave me 500 to help his kids out.. maybe this can be a lesson though, you knew this day was coming, maybe start looking earlier, find a photographer etc and start paying them off at the start of the year? Or, get a job? Plenty of people turn hobbies into income at home. And during these times plenty of jobs are available in a work from home capacity. I think you really need to take a step back and look at how you are living, if you're constantly in debt then maybe it's time to start living within your means! Rant over.
I think Dad actually deserves a pat on the back for stepping up, paying his child support as required plus extras along the way. You need to be thankful for what help you are getting to raise your daughter. I have 2 kids with my ex and he pays absolutely nothing- 40k+ in debt. My now husband (he works, I raise the kids) and I pay for everything for all 5 of our children- yes he considers himself responsible for the upbringing of my first 2 children too. This is not a necessary extra expense and there is no way child support will expect your ex to pay a cent more than he already does.
Wow you sound so
Entitled. I think he pays more than enough. How much more do you expect.? If your daughter wants that expensive formal and photographer do it a cheaper way and don’t expect him to pay anymore than he is. He also has another family to support.!! Wake up yourself, you said he is a good dad. That means more than anything. Also $500 contribution on what he already pays its generous. Be grateful for what you have instead of complaining about what you don’t have.!! You seem quite rude and all about the money.
This can't be serious!! Get a job! What a novel idea to earn some money yourself, instead of sponging off your ex and current partner.
You greedy, entitled, lazy bitch. Wow. Just fkn wow. You should be absolutely fucking ashamed of yourself. I can't believe what I'm reading.
If you can't support your daughter, send her to live with her Dad.
You're a disgrace.
You're disgusting! Seriously grow the fuck up and get a job! Stop living off your ex and the government.
He pays a massive amount of CS.
Wow I am sorry you need to rein in you spending and get a job. You are complaining when it isn’t worth it. We would all love to not work and look after the kids but we can’t.