My partner and I have been together for 10 year with 3 kids and I’m also pregnant with no. 4
Back story, we both used to smoke with him giving up 2 years and I gave up 12 months ago.
For the past 3 or 4 months when he come home from work I can smell cigarettes smoke on him and I ask him why can I smell it? And he always had a excuse.. my boss was smoking or I was in the car with someone smoking.
He would right at me and lie straight to my face that he was definitely not smoking.
I have always prided my relationship on how great it was because we were always honest with each other.
Now my main problem is that the fact he lied to me and make me feel absolutely idiot for believing him. After all he has never lied to me in the past.
I can’t help but think that if he can lie about something I would understand then what else is he or can he lie about.
(meaning that if he come home and told me the day it first had a smoke again I would disappointed but at least we could talk about it)
Am I over reacting?
1 Replies
You are overreacting if you didn't give him the space to be honest, that is, the consequences of telling the truth were too great ie. Shame, stressing out your partner etc, causing a fight. My suspicion based on this reaction is that telling you the truth about this would cause you great upset and stress. Everybody lies for different reasons, and blatant truth is not always the foundation of a good relationship. Being able to tell the truth is. You need to talk to him about it and why he lied. Then he needs to acknowledge that lying to you is hurtful personally and to the relationship.