I'm in my late 30's and new to online dating after getting divorced two years ago. I was married for most of my adult life so this is new to me and dating is different from what I remember. I met a man online who I clicked with, he suggested meeting up for a drink which I said sounded great but then it never got mentioned again and three weeks later we are still chatting every day or so. He does flirt, asks me questions and we get on well. Its getting slightly annoying though. We only chat on the dating site. Do I ask him if we are ever going to meet up? Just stop messaging him? I'm not looking for a pen friend. He always asks what I'm up to and I ask him the same but the drink thing or meeting in person never came up again. I don't want to waste my time. Any advice? Thank you.
8 Replies
He’s a time waisted! Just stop messaging him.
There are some people who just like chatting and aren’t serious about actually meeting people.
Dont let chatting go on for too long. He might not be time wasting, he may well be shy or low self confidence. Arrange a meeting. Also, recommended to me recently is to video chat. Youll at least get a better idea from a video chat whether youre interested or not before going out and meeting.
He’s either married or in a relationship. He’s not interested. Once I start chatting to someone I always get enough information out of them to find their Facebook profile or LinkedIn. If you get that far and can’t see much, he’s a closed book. If his online profile matches what he’s telling you, arrange to meet. In public and during the day. Don’t send photos or give out your number or any personal details until you trust him. I also changed my Facebook surname to my second name (Jane), it’s less personal to tell someone your Facebook name instead of your actual surname.
Aww I disagree. I means it's possible. But the other possibility could be that he's scared. I was doing the same thing recently. I signed up for bumble. I started chatting to a few guys and just couldn't bring myself to put myself out there for a real meeting face to face for fear of physical rejection. I met a guy we chatted for more than a month. He asked to meet so many times and I avoided it for that reason but just came up with excuses. I'm a normal person. No lingering relationships I was just terrified. Eventually I grew the balls and in spite of almost hyperventilating the whole way to meeting him and nearly turning around 10 times. We met. Had the best 1st date ive ever had. Fell in love and have been together nearly 10 months. He was totally worth the risk.
All scenarios have happened to me. I’ve asked when we are catching up after them originally asking. I was bored so didn’t mind the long chat time.
Two guys were married
A handful of guys just liked to chat with no intention of following through
One guy was chicken!
Not exactly a scientific study, but it definitely happens.
Ask him about it again. If he doesn't make an effort to meet up then he's clearing wasting your time.
And if they’ve asked you out, you’ve said yes, and they haven’t followed up, that’s not being shy, that’s dicking you around!
It doesn’t seem like you have brought it up either? Maybe set a time and place, if he cancels, ditch him. Whatever you do, do not give money or account details. My MIL got played for ages by a man on a dating site, he arranged to meet her then sent her a message saying he was detained on the way and urgently needed funds to get to her. She was gutted. Best to find out earlier than later if he is a scammer.