Recently Separated... just started mediation and need advice.
I have the kids about 80% if the time, more if I'm honest. My now ex, is insisting I advise him every time I take the children somewhere, if I put them in after school care on a day that isn't preplanned, even if he had no arrangement to pick the kids up or see them that day.
He said as their parent he has a right to know where there are all the time, particularly if seconded to the care of someone else.
This doesn't sit well with me. Obviously I'd tell him if I were taking them away for a weekend, doing an extreme activity or encroaching on his time with them. But do I need to log every move with him now we are separated? I have so much on my plate at the moment, to be honest I didn't even think to tell him about the after school care or last weeks 20 minute drive to the shops.
I looked on the family court and mediation websites but found nothing about what I should reasonably be doing to keep him informed.
Advise, experiences and links to useful documents would be very much appreciated. Thank you x
8 Replies
NOPE
You only have to tell him if you take the kid out of state!
Urgh. My ex pulled this BS too and told me I even need to tell him every time our daughter went to school! I compromised with him and said I'll message him if she doesn't go to school, if she is in hospital or if we are traveling over 3 hours away. You could just be a real smart arse and text him literally every time you go somewhere. Eg: just took little Harry to the toilet, Just took Ella to the bathroom to brush her teeth, just took Harry to the fridge to get a snack, just took Harry to the lounge room to read a book, just took Ella to her room to get dressed 😂
Nope that is excessive... it's not like your travelling away... there just at afterschool care.. so you can work. Like what the heck man...
No he can’t. None of his business
Nope. You can have no contact with him. You do NOT have to report to him and more importantly you do not have to engage in contact with him, phone calls, messages.
No you don’t need to but it’s obviously his way of tracking your every move.! He probably isn’t interested so much as what the kids are doing. It’s your movements.
Sounds like he wants control
If its activities that may encroach on his time (the after school care for instance) or activities or sports where expenses are expected to be shared, yes. If your child isn't going to school, yes. 20 minute trip to the shops however is your private time and none of his business unless he gets the kids late because of it. If you aren't already, I'd suggest talking to relationships australia. They can help with what is and is not expected, required, and even what is just a nice way to keep things civil without giving your every move