My daughter is 10 and is having melt downs at before school care on the day she is due to go to her fathers. We are talking dropping to the floor, screaming ‘don’t leave me’. I would love any advice from other mothers that have maybe experienced this. She currently goes to her fathers every second weekend. He has a partner and 2 other children under 5.
I’ve tried talking to miss 10 about why she gets upset. She just keeps saying ‘she doesn’t want to be away from me’. Is this just separation anxiety and I’m over thinking it ?
Can I help my child with her meltdowns?
Can I help my child with her meltdowns?
Posted in:
Kids
4 Replies
My son was quite a bit younger and when his dad came to pick him up from my house he would do similar. We changed to no overnights but one day a week and it literally stopped overnight. Smaller but more frequent visits did the trick.
Same. But for us he was a tool and no wonder she felt unsafe and had anxiety. Regardless though, the treatment for anxiety seems to be reassurance rather than pushing them into their fear. Get dad on board with more frequent visits and contact for a few weeks.
Counselling ASAP , at 11 my daughter refused after years of begging to not go.
Legally I couldn’t force her into the car. So after letters from her counsellor, teachers etc I had plenty of proof how detrimental dads weekends were- a lot of horrible things happening.
This may not be the case for her but at 10 I’d say you need to delve into what’s going on
It’s not a melt down, it’s fear. Fear from being away from mum who she feels safe and secure with. Don’t force her. Maybe organise a few hours with her dad only. You also need to listen to her every word as there may be more going on at dads. You need to make her feel heard and allow her to stay home with you until you can seek professional help. It could be anxiety and it could be that something is going on with her dad. Do not dismiss anything. Get her talking and keep communication open. She needs her mum. Don’t traumatise her if she doesn’t want to go. Then baby steps a few hours and she comes home but get to the bottom of it and make sure nothing is happening or happened to her. I’d say she just needs her mum and wants to stay with mum where she feels safe and secure.