So it has recently just dawned on my that my newly turned six year old doesn’t think I know her dad.
Dad has regular holiday and alternate weekend contact with her and we have a horrible relationship where we don’t talk. We had a messy split when she was a baby due to cheating, dv, lots of lies and manipulation.
The other day while looking at old photos on the laptop she found a photo of us when I was pregnant and said “oh Mum, here’s a photo of you with my dad? I didn’t think you knew each other”. I replied “of course (child’s name). We both helped make you and I grew you in my belly. Then dad went to live at his house and mum stayed here with you”
Is it time for a basic birds and bees talk? I obviously don’t want to go into relationship details and why we aren’t friendly (although we never fight, we simply don’t say more than hi and bye in front of the child) but I’m stumped on how to approach this. She knows I’m her mum and he is her dad, she knows that families are can be all different (two mums, two dads, grandparents, etc) but she just doesn’t get that we knew each other and made her.
Please don’t say start being friends with him. It’s not going to happen.
4 Replies
I don't think it's a birds and bees moment.
I think that is all you had to say. My ex and I split when my child was a baby and I had full custody until my child was 6. Then it went 50/50.
Keep it simple. She's not interested in the details.
I think you handled it perfectly. I wouldn’t elaborate unless she asks.
However I think it’s recommended that kids have multiple talks rather than one birds and bees talk.
Usually starts with body parts and protective behaviours and works it way up over time as your child ages and asks relevant questions.
That must have made you have a giggle lol 😂😂😂
I think you did a brilliant job, perfectly age appropriate.
Not birds and the bees but I would give some details on the timeline, like how and where you met, when you dated, when you lived together, when you separated. Relate it to her being in your tummy and she'll remember it.