Not sure what or why I’m posting. Just for opinions I guess
Hubby n I went through a bad patch. Got toxic. Emotional abuse from him pretty much. I left. Took kids. He hated me for a bit then moved to where I moved to (which was with my faamily whom he doesn’t like Long story) to try n get us back together. I was hesitant but agreed. We did counselling. I moved back in. He seems to be trying n things are going pretty well. The thing is while we were separated I was casually seeing someone else. He made me feel like hubby hadn’t for long time. If ever.
That is all over but now I just don’t know if I feel the same about hubby anymore. I don’t get the tingles. I do love him but I just don’t know if it’s the same anymore. I’m just so lost.
I don’t know what I’m asking. Just needed to get it out
7 Replies
I think tingles would be an unrealistic expectation at this point. Long term relationships coming back from a very rough time aren’t going to have tingles. You’ve still got a long road ahead of you both for this relationship to be truly on track.
I’m not saying you should stay with your partner either. I think you should have your eyes glued and be prepared to end it if things take a turn for the worse again.
But you can’t expect to feel the same after what you’ve been through and comparing a long term relationship to the lust of a new relationship is comparing apples and oranges.
Thrill of a new relationship is one thing, you won't get that with your husband. We can't predict the future, but the best thing you can do is remind yourself why you left this guy? Was it purely out of feeling bound to try? Or do you really want your marriage if you can make that happy? And is it going well? Not ok with lapses and falling back to old ways, but really a turned corner and new respect and working? If so, then keep at it.
You chose to try. Give it a real chance, so that if you eventually decide it's not ticking your boxes, you can say that it's truly done before you move on.
You’ve chosen this path, so give it a good go and focus on your relationship.
It needs to not work because of your husband, not someone other guy.
Remember you can walk away at any time if you feel you’ve done all you can.
You never go backwards love - only forwards!
You never go backwards love - only forwards!
You never go backwards love - only forwards!
Also, if you really loved the first guy, you would not of even considered getting back with your hubby. Perhaps neither are the one for you?
Good luck, as I previously said, give it a go, but don’t be afraid to leave when you’re done.
If you do leave, be single for a long while, that way you won’t get hurt and you won’t hurt others.