Hi IM’s, my daughter is ASD, ADHD, Anxiety and sensory processing. She is also very intelligent. I have testing to back this up.
She is at a catholic school in our area but they have labelled her as a naughty child.
I have been last year and this year been pushing theM to help her more. She is bored. She will openly tell you this.
She is 7 years 3 months old. Sorry there is a reason i mention her age like that.
Recent testing showed she is reading at 8 years 8 months, comprehension at 8 years and spelling at 8 years 3 months. So many other numbers too.
She didn’t score in some things and getting the maths score wasn’t possible as it was timed and her anxiety got the better of her. It was not that she couldn’t do it but that her anxiety over it being timed trumped her ability to focus and do what she was meant to.
Now some of the scores were given to the councillor at the school she is at without the report being done with notes to say some scores are not correct etc. Now the schools response is oh well she is in the average range.
She gets tired easy and can’t write neatly but can write just not for long periods. She can write and will but gets tired easily.
A recommendation was going to be a scribe or a laptop to help her produce her full potential.
The school have not done a single thing to help with this.
Even her psychologist is shocked at the response from the school she is at. She also is a qualified teacher.
I’ve made it clear to the school she is at I don’t care about the marks or making her be better than others. I’ve even said don’t Mark her any higher than the grade 2 she is in. Yet they still will not support giving her extra work therefore she is disrupting in class.
She does extra curricular activities, is on a performance team and have been told what a delight she is to have.
School is the only place she is having issues and in all honesty I am tired of fighting an uphill battle with them.
Now I’ve looked at 3 other schools.
2 of these schools are top end schools and are $8000 a year.
The third is another and is $5000 a year.
The one I am looking at is the $8000 a year school.
Would you struggle financially to have your child be supported and receive an amazing education?
I spoke to her psychologist who is from the area who said if she had to pick between the two schools and knowing my daughter she would pick the school that is the $8000 a year. Increases every few years.
I am soooo torn. My mum is saying it is a waste of money.
Her psychologist said she did her teaching prac at the $8000 school and that my daughter would thrive there with being given the chance to excel academically and even all the extra curricular things on offer. That she would enjoy it and she could see her thriving there.
The $5000 she said she knows in the year my daughter would go to that there are a few kids with high needs and it could go either way that she would get lots of support as there are other kids there needing it or she would get lost because there are a few kids needing the support.
This $5000 school offers a gifted and talented programme you can be tested for and someone comes in 2 mornings a week to work with those children.
I am so lost on what to do. I want to see my child succeed and achieve the amazing things she can and not be labelled naughty anymore.
I have sent information to all 3 and spoken to Them on numerous occasions. I am waiting for principle and learning support to review and come back to me with what they could offer an support her with.
So I guess if we didn’t get in or they couldn’t support her the way she needs that would help which school to choose.
I guess what I’m asking is has anyone moved their child to a high priced private school or even have their kids in one and is it worth all the money?
Edit: she already receives all the support she could need OT, speech, psych, etc.
The public schools in my area are so full and are unable to cater to her needs.
I know she can be naughty. I do not think she is perfect by any means. It has not been my recommendation to challenge her academically it has been professionals saying challenge her and she will be more stimulated and her behaviour will change at school.
Thank you
11 Replies
Is there a reason you are picking private over public. You know at a private school they are less likely to give your children then help they need? As they aren’t governed like a public school. Yet you’re choosing to send her to a private school that can choose weather or not they follow the recommendations given to them and use the funding they apply for however they want. Are you just sending her to the private school because of religious reasons?? Personally if sending my kids to a private school would cause us to struggle financially they wouldn’t be going to a private school. Our families well being goes before a private education.
To be fair public schools will also choose to spend their funding for students with special needs. It is not at all uncommon for teachers to have multiple special needs children in a class and get no support through a week.
The child is in Primary School. Not highschool. From what I’ve seen with my own child in a public school is that even when he shared an EA with someone else he still got a lot of EA time. His needs required it. Most of the years he has gotten one on one care. With my less severe son who is in highschool he is in classes with other children who also have ASD and he gets time every period with the EA. They are both in public school. The children his age in the Private highschool are struggling to get the support they need. The children who have been in the private ps down where I live have also struggled to get their needs met. Where as my children have not. I’m going by my and my friends experiences. What I’ve witnessed and seen. Some say oh this school has been fabulous they really listened to me and then 3 months later have pulled the child from the school and said nup they weren’t doing what they said. They just wanted our fees. So .....
Well it is very much up to the Principal at either school - private or public as to how much aid children get.
At the Catholic school my son goes to. Children with Special needs are support incredibly. We even have a seperate facility with sensory rooms, quiet rooms a sensory playground. Children have the luxury of going into a special needs class or having support in the mainstream Class or going between the too.
I have many friends who are primary school teachers - who get no support for special needs kids in their classes. Some are lucky to have an hour a week with an aid.
You can’t make blanket statements- she will have to check out all her options.
Look for a public school. What you find needs to be suitable long term. My experience is don't get turned off by one, they are not all the same all you need to do is find the one that gets it and will help her.
The test results are not in the talented or gifted range, it's great that she's a bit ahead, but the school is correct in saying she is within the average range. I think you need to pick a school that has the most support for her disorders, as these will be her biggest hurdles in her education.
- She is a bright child, but she is within the standard range. There are heaps of activities etc you can do at home that can really spark her imagination and enthusiasm. She doesn't have to be in a program to achieve great things in life. It's all relative.
- $5-8,000 is at the bottom of private schooling where we are. This isn't about money though. This is about wellbeing of your daughter. Send her to a public school where she'll get extra support and spend -$5-8K on therapies and extra stuff for her. Your school doesn't want to cater to her needs.
Forget about the money side. Look at your child. Look at what she needs - not just academically, but emotionally. Spend money wisely, rather than struggling to pay fees for the next 10 years.
I am not sure that I see any of this as such a bad thing? It's not a crime for kids to be bored as such. I think with extra learning difficulties, it's important to instill patience and resilience. Not just enable her bordom and excuses for bad behaviour at school. If you really have a problem with the school and want to move her, I'd look into public before making a decision.
Maybe she is labelled naughty because frankly she is. Comparing gymnastics and school is apples and oranges and not a fair comparison.
I think it’s a stretch to blame her behaviour on boredom and not associated with her disorders and so therefore is likely to play up regardless of what you pay for the school. Your after a personalised program which most schools do not have the capacity to give.
There are so many ways you can challenge her intellectually but maybe focus on how to support the anxiety and her her writing stamina.
School is a marathon not a sprint.
I think you’re focusing too much on the intelligence and not enough on the behaviour.
The diagnosis is clearly the reason she is acting up and when your kid is always naughty, they will be labelled the naughty kid.
The tests don’t show her to be a genius so start assuming it’s her diagnosis and work with her therapist to get it right.
Until you can get the behaviour controlled, you will have the same issues at any school, public or private.
The school probably can’t believe you’re worrying about IQ tests when she can’t meet basic behavioural and writing standards.
Also, private schools are a business first, you will get more help in a public school.
I also think you need a new psychologist, she doesn’t sound particularly professional.