Does anyone else undermine themselves? I have noticed a pattern in my behaviour at work where through silly, utterly stupid things, I undermine myself. I know I need to contact these few clients and then I don't and it bites me in the ass. Like.... how far can I push them before I cop the repercussions? I love my work. I love the people I work with. I have a great boss and I'm so happy...and yet, its like I'm testing them. Its makes me feel sick. Physically dirty that there is something wrong with me. Like I don't deserve to have a great job and be happy in it.
2 Replies
Do you think it's more just procrastination, like "ah, I'll do it later" and you just don't get around to it?
Or do you think it's intentionally or at least subconsciously self destructive?
If it's the first option, you may just need to change your mind set, get organised. I find a to do list helpful, ie.
9am - arrive at work.
9.30am - do this
10am - call clients
10.30 - have break
It's a good way to keep track of what you need to do and keep yourself accountable.
If it's option number 2, I'd recommend getting some counselling to get to the root cause of these self destructive behaviours. They often come from cripplingly low self esteem and feeling undeserving.
I see it around the other way. I don't believe I deserve where I am. Instead of pushing others to see what I can and can't get away with I push myself to be above and beyond, therefore proving to myself that I do.
Worth a try for you too I reckon.