I’ve found out about a cheating situation. I don’t know either people well but my instinct is to tell the person (boyfriend) that he’s been cheated on, as if it were me I’d want to know. Do you tell or do you let people be ‘big enough and ugly enough’ to handle their own business?
14 Replies
I would tell if you have solid evidence. Not what someone said, but actual evidence.
I’ve been cheated on and it’s horrible and the lies are worse. But letting someone know without something to back up your claims will just make you the trouble maker who stirs up shit. Especially if you aren’t close to these people.
How do you know? If it's something you have witnessed yourself I would tell, nobody deserves to waste time with a cheater. If it's just something you have heard from others then it's gossip, I wouldn't play into it.
I tell. Been there done that wont let any one waste time wondering and trying. But, I wouldnt invest in making them believe etc. The knowledge that someone else knows is all the confirmation they need and what else they do after that is their own business.
Leave it be.
You don't know them well, so you're not that invested in their lives.
Your instinct is telling you to divulge because it will make you feel better from a moral standpoint.
I've seen this play out more times than I care to count (I grew up around a lot of this toxic shit) people always say they'd want to know but in my experience they kind of actually don't. The messenger is never believed in these scenarios or they're labelled as the jealous trouble maker. The cheater always seems to come out of it as the innocent victim because the person actually getting cheated on just refuses to believe the person they love would do that...
If it was your brother or best friend my advice would be different but in this situation the whole 'not my circus, not my monkeys' thing springs to mind.
Honestly mate, save yourself the drama!
Stay out of it , why involve yourself in the issues of people you barely know. How bizarre .
Because you could be saving someone from staying in a relationship that is not for them? I told a woman I did not know well at all that her fiance was cheating, he slept with a friend of mine in their home while the woman was out of town organising things for the wedding. I couldn't live with myself not telling, people say they find out for themselves but that's not always true. She was about to marry the guy, she deserved to know what he was doing behind her back.
I wasted 16 years of my life being repeatedly cheated on with no idea! My entire 20s. I can’t ever get that time back. Someone could have spoken up and changed my life
If my partner was cheating I would absolutely want to know. Chances are I’m probably already wondering if he is but lacking evidence. I’ve been in this situation before and wish to god someone told me..... mind you they did tell me AFTER I left him and then used the cop out excuse of ‘not wanting to hurt me cause I’m a nice person’ oh cool cool so you sat there watching a ‘nice person’ be cheated on, said nothing, did nothing and feel like telling me now? Sweet! Thanks for the heads up I could have done that std test months ago before I gave birth to my baby and ended up giving her a chlamydia eye infection 😡
Exactly, these people in a relationship are likely not using protection that's a big timing issue.
Yes tell him. I would. Why would he want to waste anymore time with someone who is cheating! If you are certain it’s happening then tell him. He may already suspect it.
I didn't tell but wish I did. I saw the cheater with the womans friend kissing/dry humping at beach. She was at work(where she served me) and thought he was
at work as well, she was telling person how amazing he was WORKING so much on business. She wished someone told her, especially after she found out because the friend gor pregnant.
Personally I would stay out of it. You will be seen as the trouble maker.
I would be so
Pissed off if people knew and I didn’t. I think you should do what you think is right. If it was me. I would tell him even if I had to send a letter or drop in the letter box at night for him. I would want to know. I would also hate those who knew and didn’t tell me because i have been in this position.
Tell him and just mention that you don’t want her knowing who it came from but you think he has the right to know. If you don’t you might regret it