Hubby and I have been married for 11years with 3 kids and are still very much in love. But i feel lately that we are growing apart. He is really into to his PlayStation when he finishes work (which is fine, that's his thing) but I'm finding the more time he's on it the more immature he becomes! He's 38, and it seems like he acts like a 20 year old when he's been on it! I find it really frustrating because it's effecting our sex life as well, his idea of initiating sex lately is 'you want a root?' or roughly grabbing my crotch at any given time. I just find it really unattractive. Dont get me wrong he does try to get my off in other ways when that happens, but i cant because i just feel turned off I guess. But when i try to initiate sex (kissing, touching etc) he often says probably won't be able to get a hard on because he masturbated at work that morning. He has also talked for along time about bringing a third person into the bedroom as he findd the idea of watching me with another man a turn on. He knows im not ok with that and he'd never force me, to do it but he talks about it ALL the time. He also tells me im so vanilla because im not into that, but i dont feel comfortable doing that! I just want passionate sex with the manly husband i used to have, not a boy...Am I asking too much? *edited to add he works on a worksite type of situation and is on his own workshop alone a lot...not masturbating in a room full of people lol
19 Replies
So many red flags. You need to sit him down and tell him you're not vanilla, he's acting like a teenage hornbag and you're deeply unsatisfied. Fulfilling his fantasy of a 3rd is just so far from what's needed here right now. He needs to fulfil you first, and RESPECT you.
You may very well be vanilla in bed and that’s okay. But what he is doing is rude and immature. I would be really bringing it home that there will not be another person being added into the bedroom, if he so desperately need wants to sleep with someone else he needs to move out. Also who masturbates at work. The is vile.
Um, if not wanting to bring a third person into your sex life makes me vanilla, I’m 100% ok with that!
And yeah, I’d be making it clear that grabbing me by the crutch is unacceptable and won’t be getting him any sex.
You are not asking to much.
How horrific. I feel like hes on the cusp of cheating. What a brat of a manchild.
He masturbates at work?
Lots of people do lol
I’ve always worked in schools, so the idea that someone would have time, the privacy or the desire to is .....
If someone feels the need to masturbate at work then I think that’s another issue in itself and they should probably see a professional to sort their issues out
Honestly if my husband was harassing me to have sex with another person while grabbing me aggressively, I’d be like, mate, I’m trying to homeschool 3 kids, work at the same time, keep the house sorted, how’s about you stop sexually harassing me and back the hell off.
He is not immature he is downright disgusting .. he is on the verge of cheating .. when they want another person involved there is no respect for you .. he shouldnt be masturbating at work when hr could be getting his bit at homr he is off the scale and so disrespectful i have seen this and it never ends well always more demands until your like wtf get out .. i would be seriously considering the state of your relationship and his mental porn addiction state in all fairness !
Its just rude crude and so disrespectful to you ! He needs to shape up or ship out ..
“Still very much in love” yikes, if that’s your definition of love, you need counselling and I’m not joking.
Masturbates at work, wow, he has a problem and you think it’s funny?
An ex fiance I once had worked in a solitary role. He wasn't always on his own as he would bring shags in an out during work hours. He used the same excuse. He fessed up about it after I left him for so many other indiscretions.So turning you down because he had a wank raised this memory for me. His change in behaviour and the way he thinks of you screams to me he is being unfaithful. For your sake I hope not.
I can't imagine at what age a healthy man can't get hard at night because he had a pull that morning. Seriously, do they think we don't know the basics of how a dick works.
Wow please don’t be naive to him. Something has obviously changed and it isn’t the play station. He’s prob met someone else especially if he mentions a 3rd person. So many red flags in this and be strong stick to your guns and self respect don’t do anything you don’t want to. If he keeps it up and doesn’t respect you then piss him off.
I keep hearing this vanilla, what the hell does it mean 🤦🏼♀️Maybe I’m too old lol
He sounds like he is already been with someone else just the way he changed.
Mmm...my 40 odd yr old is very gropey also and sometimes I just have tell him it's getting old and not making me attracted to him at all! But he does have the ability to be passionate most of the time...i would be asking about the masterbating at work thing for sure! And... vanilla...definitely to old for that shit talk lol...it would upset me if my husband was always talking about 3rd person and watching me with someone else if i wasn't into that! You guys need a discussion for sure!! Good luck!
Mid life crisis?
Mid life crisis?