We have been married for 30yrs but my husband has never been the romantic type, never does things on the spur of the moment to show love and affection, forgets special dates like our 30th, Easter egg no card, no Easter egg. When asked why just said busy with work we have our own business. No matter what I always will find times to get a card, a egg etc.. not that hard.
I love romantic shows on tv, real life love shows, I crave to find some romantic feeling like these couples have. I have organised night away, dinners, time together at home but nothing romantic or even the feel of romance comes out from him.
I want to feel a romantic effection from him, true deep meaningful love, I feel just so incomplete as a couple. Yes I love him heaps and I know he does too but I just would love to have that love shown to me not just words. I want a spark. How can I get him to be more romantic and me not crave it.
How can I get romance from my husband
How can I get romance from my husband
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
4 Replies
Stop to hoping for a movie or TV fairytale- they aren't real! I'm sorry but after 30 years I think you need to accept that he isn't a person who is going to remember dates and therefore go out of his way to get a card or gift. I'm not super into those love languages but in my opinion its more important how a person behaves on those normal days than whether or not they remember an anniversary or birthday. If he works hard to provide for your family, treats you well and is a good person then I think you may need to accept that if you want romance then you have to bring it to the relationship.
The type of love you wanting isn’t love, is movie screen lust. Those shows you enjoy so much well there not real, it’s all scripted and made up for ratings. You said it in your first sentence, he just isn’t the romantic type. It’s been 30 years, you know that and he probably won’t change. Maybe go and talk to a professional to find out why you feel this unrealistic need
Love languages! https://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Not everyone is a gifts and cards person. I like a well thought out gift for an occasion, but I'm a physical affection and quality time person, which my husband is not. My husband buys me flowers, which I appreciate but secretly - or not so secretly, to be honest - hate (I'm allergic, I think it's a horrible waste of money and I feel guilty when I have to throw them away). I could spend time trying to change him, being frustrated at why he doesn't "get" what I want or I could understand why he and I don't demonstrate love in the same way and find mutual understanding of one another.
While I agree with the other posters I did have 1 idea. What if you both sat down and wrote on pop sticks some things you'd like to do together/activities/challenges/get from the other. Then once a week pull out a stick and do whatever is written on it. It might lack spontaneity but it removes the pressure of trying to think of something to do to show your love to each other