Hi sisters, I'm currently in a position I can't remove myself at atm due to the whole virus lockdown etc but trying to find a way to make things back to the way they were otherwise it will end with seperation. Life was normal up to a year ago, I could clean, organise and everything you do within your home freely with no stress. Then slowly my partners OCD type behaviours started to creep more in, he has always been abit always wanting to wash his hands so many times and so on and it never really effected the rest of the family. Then it slowly became worse and started to affect us, something he throught was dirty fell on the floor then had to clean the floor. It's now to the point I and the children have most aspects of our lives controlled. Seriously only time I'm not being watched is when I close the loo door, havnt had a enjoyable shower in months as I'm being told my shower routine. Whats worse is the state of the house, seriously can't do a load of laundry or clean without drama. If we were renting we would of been kicked out by now, but I'm just trying to deal with it to save my kids from the shouting and fighting that was us couple months ago. It was never like this for 8 years and now this is life, I really can't deal with it especially with another child in the way. I know this is kinda a rant but is there anything can do, I want things to return to how they were. Even more I know if things dont turn back soon one of us has to leave, cause I hate living this way and I have told many times so not like I'm not voicing my opinions and concerns just alot more calm then I was months ago for the sake of my children.
4 Replies
Is the house too clean or too dirty? It sounds like too clean but with the comment regarding you would have been kicked out of a rental I’m assuming now it’s dirty.
Either way, he needs to seek help. This is a mental health issue and he needs to address it ASAP. This isn’t healthy for anyone especially the kids.
Yes there are ways out.
What state are you in? Rules are varying from state to state.
Services for DV have been increased, services for mental health have been increased and they aren’t making people stay with abusive partners and this sounds like a form of abuse to me. The underlying cause is irrelevant.
He needs therapy, if he’s willing to give it a go, I would stay and see if things improves, if not, I’d be out of there when you can.
I say that only because you’ve been together eight years and this is relatively new....if it were a new relationship, I’d say bail.