So I’m the one that’s had the space taken on as I’m quite emotional, which I think is due to hormones imbalance which I’m now taking something for. We haven’t been getting along with stupid little things and he’s moved out of the bedroom and wants to chill and have a bit of space, which I accept and understand. I’m using this as perfect time to work on me and my anxieties, but I was hoping to hear from others who have gone through something similar as I want it to work out.
He’s step father to my 3 children.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
5 Replies
For me, if someone wants space away, it means I’m some kind of burden to them, that they don’t enjoy time with me, so I would be rethinking the relationship.
In a relationship, you shouldn’t be someone who is tolerated, you should be someone who is loved and valued.
Couples therapy may be the way to go?
I think this is a great opportunity to do two things.
A. Self reflect! You mention that you're emotional and struggle with anxieties (and possibly some insecurities as well if that's a fair assumption), you also mentioned that a hormone imbalance has probably got a lot to do with that. So that tells me that you know you're not always reasonable or rational - it's good to recognise that because it's definitely something you can work on.
B. Assess your relationship!
I know you say you want to make it work but there comes a time when it's unhealthy and unproductive to keep trying. You need to really examine your relationship and determine whether things are fixable or if this "space" is just prolonging an inevitable separation.
I think this is a great opportunity to do two things.
A. Self reflect! You mention that you're emotional and struggle with anxieties (and possibly some insecurities as well if that's a fair assumption), you also mentioned that a hormone imbalance has probably got a lot to do with that. So that tells me that you know you're not always reasonable or rational - it's good to recognise that because it's definitely something you can work on.
B. Assess your relationship!
I know you say you want to make it work but there comes a time when it's unhealthy and unproductive to keep trying. You need to really examine your relationship and determine whether things are fixable or if this "space" is just prolonging an inevitable separation.
You’re correct in the assumption that there’s insecurities created by him hiding things rather than telling the truth.
And yes it’s a wonderful time to reflect upon myself and what’s been going on. I know that I’m not the only one at fault, even though I’m where it gets laid.
I’m going to work upon myself so I can grow. If he wants to be part of this development that’s his choice.
What I find baffling is that he keeps talking about our future and what we’re doing to the house etc.
Re: the future talk
Just remember that you're allowed you make rules/boundaries around this situation too. If his talk about the future is confusing then ask for him to stop.