So I’m coping a lot of shit from my ex at the moment as I’ve initiated child support as we are separated and have 4 kids together.
We had been together for 25 years and our marriage ended through him having an affair.
I’m starting again career wise and his in continually on the up and up.
I’m getting called every name under the sun as “I’m one of them” (an ex going for child support)
Doesn’t matter how I explain what child support is.
So obviously I can’t explain it so he’ll understand that’s it’s for the kids not me and that they shouldn’t be disadvantaged by what I’m able to provide vs what he can.
Does anyone have any advice or contacts that could perhaps explain it so he may understand it. (Preferably from a guy!!)
7 Replies
Let CSA know that he has been harassing you. My ex had someone from CSA ring him and explain all the dos and donts, not sure if that's the norm or not, it was about 10 years ago and helped the situation a lot.
You don't need to help him understand - you need to stop his abuse towards you. Cut contact until he behaves.
I assume since he's doing well and his career is on the up and up he's not stupid.
If he wanted to understand it he would, it's not rocket science.
He's "one of those" (fathers that don't want to support their kids).
He's trying to persuade you out of collecting cs so he doesn't have to pay. Don't fall for it. Cut contact as much as possible. Keep it as kids stuff only and redirect all child support stuff to CSA.
The problem is, deep down you feel guilty.
You shouldn’t, it’s his job to support his kids.
Let go of the guilt and what he says won’t bother you.
Easier said than done, but this is a you problem, not him.
He’s going to be an arsehole about heaps of things in the next few years, accept he’s a jerk and anything he says is just shit and holds no weight.
This is called intimidation. Ignore. Not your job to explain.
Only advice is to let CSA assess and collect. That takes you out of the equation and move on.your kids are entitled to it. He has responsibilities to pay his share so don't let him make you feel guilty. Best of luck!