In the next 6 months my mother in law will no longer have anyone living at home with her. She has a big house, 3 bedrooms upstairs and 2.5 down. The house needs work and is not in the best condition. We as a family have been asked to move in to keep her company. The family have told us this will be our only opportunity to save for a deposit for a house.
Our current situation is - my husband and I are 30 this year. We live 45 minutes away, and have done so for almost 2 years now. We have a 4 bedroom with a double garage and a decent backyard for our dog and kids. Nice location, next to the school and parks nearby. Originally we moved here to be closer to my husbands work (looking for a different career now as it's not working out) It also made sense as we were due to have another baby so a bigger house for the same price rent was a no brainer. After the move, we obviously enrolled our kids into new schools.
Abit of back story - we have lived at my mother in laws before with my first child until she was 3. Being a new mum she would take over and would get on my nerves. She would have people visiting the house I've never seen before so I felt like I always had to be on alert because of my daughter. MIL would put my husband in a shit mood always by yelling at him about who knows what (the reason the other brothers moved out) therefore would cause us to fight. My brother in law would start treating my child like she's his. He would take her places without speaking to me first, and I never could trust him 100% because he just wasn't a responsible person.
Fast forward now.. the brother still lives nearby and still has that mind set. Apparently my mother in law no longer has visitors I don't know? And my hubby now gets along with his mum quite well. If we decide to move back for a few years
A. Will it put a strain on my relationship with my husband
B. Will there be problems when we want to leave as we don't want to stay in that house forever (but have always said she can live with us)
C. Will i come home from work thinking my kids are safe at home when really their uncle has taken them out again without running it by me or my husband
D. Would it be worth selling all our things we have collected over 11 years and start over. Would it be worth moving the kids schools again? Will this be our only chance to buy a house? What would you do?
13 Replies
Hell no! I can’t believe you would even be thinking about it.
Not for one second would I consider this. It has disaster written all over it. Especially the way they are manipulating and pressuring you into moving in.
Do not do this.
I personally wouldn’t do it! You’ve tried it before and there were issues. Hubby probably gets along with her now because they are no longer living together. Why can’t someone else live with her? Don’t let others, who clearly don’t want to live her, guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do. If you really want to save for a house deposit, you will find a way to do it without compromising your relationship or your families happiness. It will most likely take longer, but it will happen.
Not a chance I would even consider this as an option! Think of your happiness!
No. All of the problems you had before will come back. I did this thinking she had matured but no, we all get along when not living together but she's an absolute fucking nightmare to live with. Don't do it. It also sounds as if she has empty nest syndrome and doesn't want to be alone, she needs to get used to it instead finding people to live with her. Get her a puppy.
No. I wouldn’t! Your hubby likely gets on with her cause they are not in each other’s business.
No way. His brothers can move in and keep her company
Personally I don't think you could even pay me to do this. Lol not for the sake of my mental health and relationship
The only pro would be the money you "could" probably save... But money isn't worth an I'll mental health and potential relationship ruins
Not a chance in hell. You have tried it before and it didn’t work. If she is that lonely maybe she should think of selling up and using the money to buy a little unit in a retirement village
I wouldn't do it! Don't do it! Nothing has changed! Of course your husband gets on with his Mum, they arent living together at the moment!
No one else wants to live with her, you guys have a heart, so they’re trying to guilt trip you into it. Saving money is the carrot they are dangling. Don’t do it!!
Do not do it !
The only reason everyone is getting along is because you DON’T live together anymore. It will be exactly the same once you get there. I wouldn’t want that stress in my relationship / family / life. Don’t let them manipulate you into moving in there. Which absolutely what it sounds like they are doing. Maybe suggest to the rest of the family that each of you pop in to see her on certain nights. You and your family have dinner there on mondays. bro in law visits on wednesdays. She can visit you on another day at your place. There are other ways to care for your family without moving in there. Good luck but ultimately do what is right for YOUR family.