My husband and I have a great relationship. We are genuinely madly in love but increasingly over the last year he has become soooo demanding and almost smothering. I know things are difficult as far as sex goes. I’ve started menopause and rarely have any sex drive and he would happily have me walking around the house naked for ease of access every 15 minutes if that was an option! Every conversation we have he tries to turn about sex and things he’d like us to do. I’ve never been much of a talker in this area which I try to work on but he never wants to talk about anything else. He can be wonderfully romantic. He organised dinner out and weekends away but then I feel bad because we have two young teens at home and although they are happy to stay with friends or family I feel like he wants us to act like empty nesters when we’re not. And the reason he wants so many child free nights is because he wants me to get dressed in lingerie and have a wild night. We rarely have sex less than 4 times a week which is exhausting because I’m really making an effort. I enjoy being with my husband but I’m never in the mood so I try to meet him in the middle. He doesn’t see the effort, he just thinks there’s a problem. He feels like I should be throwing myself at him. The last few weeks he wants to grab and touch and feel and make out alllll the time. He gets teary because he loves me so much. He has more mood swings than a teenage girl on her period! I feel smothered. I have talked to him about maybe there is something hormonal going on. He takes it as a person insult like I have a problem because he loves me so much.
Could this all be mid life crisis? I feel like I’ve gained a giant ball of hormones and I’m loosing my best friend. I don’t want this to become a bigger problem between us than it already is. What should I do? Not in a million years would he go see a councillor so there is no point suggesting that. How do I get him to calm down and just be normal again? I miss my husband.
Is my Husband having Mid Life Crisis?
Is my Husband having Mid Life Crisis?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
5 Replies
It could be.
But even if it is, it’s important to remain firm in your boundaries. If he is annoying you and bring a pest, you need to be clear. Yes that may upset him, but accepting his behaviour is not going to help either.
Honestly he sounds like he is anxious he is loosing you and is over reacting/over compensating in order to gain reassurance, but all he is achieving is pushing you away.
It sounds like it’s time for a good heart to heart chat, telling him that you love him, and that you miss the old him. Please don’t tip toe around this issue, letting it slide will just create bigger issues later on.
4 times a week! Wow, that's doing well! I barely want sex once a week. People have different sex drives... It's OK to not want sex as frequently as he does. I think he is actually very lucky. Maybe see a GP with him to get a professional opinion?
My X husband was like this.. wanted it 24/7. I couldn't have a quick shower without him jumping in or trying to grop me.. towards the end of our marriage I felt like a piece of meat.. he would even try and fuck me in my sleep.. I was manopausal and only 36 yo.. I eventually had to leave him for my own sanity.. it's been 18months since I left and I feel free from him free from pressure free from feeling like a piece of meat..
Tell him that manopause is a total head fuck and the last thing you want is to feel like a sex object..
Good luck x
Wholly shit..... how he is treating you is SO not ok. It’s sexual harassment! Just because you are married does not mean he can have you whenever he pleases! He should be happy with 4 times a week! Sheesh... sometimes my hubby an I go weeks without because of being tired/busy/kids/time of month etc. I reckon your hubby may even have some kind of sex addiction!
As a male I would love 4 times a week. My wife lost her drive after the birth of our 2nd child and never regained it. That was over 4 years ago.
I would try to initiate but after being told no so many times and even slapped if i tried to pinch her bum, i just stopped trying. I still love her very much. Masturbation and take it when you can bud is my response.
I remember the longest period was a touch over 6months.
Just remember ladies who commented. When he gives up trying, which he will. He is not having an affair. He just knows the answer before trying.
In saying that. Pressuring her is not the answer. Maybe before the start of menopause this was there usual playing.