To start, I am sorry for the long post, I’m just really needing some advice. This time last year I found out I was pregnant. My partner and I have had a rough 3 years, in and out out of our relationship, but god forbid I love him and want it to work.
My partner has been heavily on drugs (weed) for a while now. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I explained this was to stop right away. It didn’t. On about 2-3 occasions of my pregnancy when he told me he was no longer on it, I soon found out he was. This destroyed me. I feel to this day I done most of my pregnancy alone.
I had my beautiful little girl who I adore so much and we currently live with my parents and sometimes was staying with him together.
After her birth he promised me again he was off it. But my trust is so broken, I’ve tried very much to trust him again but my anxiety sky rocketed. I’ve wanted to drug test him but have been awfully afraid of the answer and argument it would cause.
He has been drinking a hell of a lot, which I tried not to cause an argument over - I thought the alcohol was a cop out. We both recently signed a lease and BOTH should of been moving in together as a family in a couple days time. But this time I had to do it for my own sanity and peace of mind and I wanted to drug test him after he had been disappearing for hours of a night with friends (whom all take a lot of drugs) which has made me very anxious - so I bought it up and NEEDED to test him to know he was clean before giving him the option of living with his daughter now, too.
It ended in a massive argument.
He denied to do it, because he was not “reassuring” me of anything anymore, so he puts it. After hours arguing he eventually left the room and come back with what seemed like a few drops of WATER in the cup, I didn’t bother to test - I am 80% sure that was water.
I love this man, and I want to say he loves me too. But I am so stuck. I don’t know what to do.
Problems with partners substance abuse
Problems with partners substance abuse
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
4 Replies
Look at his behaviour. The drugs should be a deal breaker for you and your child but so should his behaviour.
Don’t live with someone who isn’t living as if he is ready for a family. Staying out late, and drinking a lot, are both signs he isn’t ready. Alcohol is still a drug and he is abusing it. Don’t ignore shitty behaviour to save a relationship that isn’t salvageable
Out with friends all night, rejecting a urine drug sample, lying.
Get out now. It doesn't change. Take it from someone who was with a lying, deceiving meth addict for 2 decades. They rarely change.
Oh, and as for meth, I guarentee you, there's a high chance he's using that too.
Love is no way near enough to cancel out all the bullshit he's putting you through.
At the bare minimum, you really need to see if there's any way you can back out of this lease. You do not need to be moving in with him!
Leave! The kids will grow up with this crap. My dad smoked pot and drank heavily. It was terrible. Wish my mum left him. He always promised to give up and then would be sneaky like that.