Last night I received a Facebook message request from a girl that used to work with my husband I have never hear of her previously I don’t think she was there for long. She said he tried to have sex with her a year and a half earlier she said no and was fired a week later by him and she thought it was time to speak out about it. My head is currently spinning at a million miles per hour and I don’t know what to do! I can’t imagine my husband doing this he’s so anti cheating as his dad did this to his mum but I can’t understand why someone would make accusations that weren’t true so long after. I’m feeling so incredibly lost!
18 Replies
That’s a hard one. Maybe she’s angry about something?
If he just decided to fire her, couldn’t she sue him for wrongful dismissal?
Not if you're casual
Why a year and a half later?
Some people hold grudges and can’t let go. Who knows a part from this person…
I'd try and keep an open mind here.
She may have an alterior motive. There's no denying that some people do abhorrent things to get what they want.
But...
She may be genuine. Sometimes it takes people a while to realise that they were done wrong and sometimes it takes people a bit of time to work up the courage to fight those wrongdoings.
At this stage, it sounds like her only motivation is to speak her truth.
Either way, it sounds like she might have enough to claim unfair dismissal, I think that's something you both need to prepare for.
If she was casual she can't do anything
I’m my experience, the ones who verbalise how against cheating they are, are cheaters.
Non cheaters don’t even talk about it, it’s a non issue.
My EXACT experience !!
I'm very anti cheating and all my friends know that because I've said it numerous times. I'm not going to do to my family what my dad did to mine. In fact, the people I know who actually voice their intolerance for cheating are all like me. Victims of either a broken family as a kid or broken marriage by the other person's actions.
To the OP, maybe this lady has shown something about your husband you didn't know. She may also be unstable or vindictive. She may hold a grudge. Or have had something else happen and now she's focusing on a lot of things that have gone wrong for her, including losing that job.
She could have tried something on him and then he fired her?
I guess if her story was true he would have tried this with other girls, I would go through messages to see if you can find anything.
I doubt it then why wouldn’t he tell his wife. I believe it. A woman wouldn’t reach out like this after that long. It’s obviously been. BOthering her. Good for her for speaking up.
I am honestly disappointed in the amount of people on here and fb that are so dismissive of this woman's story. While it's quite possible that this whole story could be fabricated, most women do not fabricate things like this, Especially not a year and a half later. I feel the time gap makes it more believable to me, not less. What angry or vindictive woman would wait a year and a half before she quietly messaged the partner of the alleged "wrongdoer"? Most vindictive women would be loud and quick to accuse. Of course that is my opinion. I would be looking into it more if it were me.
It must be true. I doubt she would reach out like that if it wasn’t. Don’t dimisss her. He prob did do it. don’t ask him. Maybe see if she will meet up with you and speak to her and find out if there was anyone he did this to also. I couldn’t imagine half of the people I know who cheated and they did. You poor girl. Don’t be angry with her just call her or meet up. You will soon know if she is genuine which I think she is. She prob hates that he got away with firing her because of it and thought you deserve to know. Because if it isn’t her it will be someone else if this is true.
She probably didn’t want to do this to you and his family. Maybe she has thought long and hard about it, why should she lose her job if this is true. If it is true then he should get what he deserves. You can’t dismiss it. It’s prob why it took her so long to reach out to you. He’s prob done it with others too. Meet her and talk to her. Find out about her yourself and see what she is like and answer any questions you have. I’d say it wouldn’t be the first.
Me ex was so anti cheating too. So much that he cheated.!
This actually sounds like my friend. This same thing happened to her after a week at her new job and she struggled with losing her job because of it..My friend decided she couldn’t keep it in any longer and found his wife eventually on Facebook and let her know. She thought the wife wouldn’t believe her but I told her to let her decide that. She also didn’t want to do this to his wife but it was eating her up inside that she lost her job for knocking him back.she isn’t like that at all and feels awful for his wife. His wife deserved to know. I’m wondering if this is the same person.It sounds like it.
This should t even be a question you can speculate all you like but only he can tell you the truth so ask him don’t go on all guns blazing just have an honest discussion with him your going to drive yourself mad if you don’t try to talk to him about it
Maybe she can’t get another job and is dirty at him for firing her maybe she has a fascination with your husband and is trying to split you up only he can give you the answer you need
My ex husband always said the same thing ‘I’ll never cheat on you’ as his father was a chronic philanderer … but 20 plus years later and giving him 4 children he had an affair with a woman half my age for over 12 months before I found out and left me to be with her and have another child … I don’t think he was ever faithful … I’ve had my suspicions several times over the years but he always got angry and dismissed it … I wish you well but my view is just because he’s said he won’t doesn’t mean he won’t or hasn’t x
My ex husband always said the same thing ‘I’ll never cheat on you’ as his father was a chronic philanderer … but 20 plus years later and giving him 4 children he had an affair with a woman half my age for over 12 months before I found out and left me to be with her and have another child … I don’t think he was ever faithful … I’ve had my suspicions several times over the years but he always got angry and dismissed it … I wish you well but my view is just because he’s said he won’t doesn’t mean he won’t or hasn’t x