My sister and I were always very close, we spoke on the phone most days, live in the same suburb and have kids similar ages, but over the past couple of years something has changed.. She married a guy who is so narcissistic and full of himself and unfortunately she has started to become just like him. He is overly jealous and competitive and he makes it obvious when he talks, but he is the kind of guy who acts nice to your face but talks about you behind your back. My husband used to be the life of the party (which my brother in law was jealous of) but has had some mental health issues over the past few years and my brother in law has pretty much convinced my sister that my husband is on drugs and/or putting it on, and now she wants nothing to do with us. I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness and disappointment that she has become this way, and that I have subsequently lost my sister and her kids as I love them with all my heart. Not to mention my kids losing a relationship with the cousins they have grown up with. How do you get past the feeling of loss? I have tried reaching out to her and she is not interested. I simply have to let them go, but it’s so hard to do.
Impossible relationship with sister, how to let go
Impossible relationship with sister, how to let go
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage
3 Replies
Sounds like my sister. She absorbs the personality of whatever douche she is with. Goes on for a couple of years, relationship ends and she goes back to 'normal' mind you not once has she ever apologised.
Fair enough, that the male is responsible for his behaviour but if she excuses and enables toxic vile behaviour and turns all around on the victim then she is just as much as fault. (including verbal /physical abuse against myself and my husband, racial abuse, outright lies,
drunk/drug driving with kids and sexual interference with minors- couldbe worse) Put up with 20 years of it and enough is enough.
No one EVER wants to talk about the other victims of toxic males and their enablers. I am talking here about women who have no reasons or excuses for staying, all the support in the world but choose to do so anyway. We are supposed to blindly be there supporting them no matter what....and you pull the plug and holy crap you are the worse person in the world.
You and your family are not collateral damage in her relationship. You will feel sad and angry for a while but it will get less as time goes by.
Yep it’s terrible isn’t it? Sometimes you just have to let go but it’s bloody hard...
It helps to look at situations out of the context of family. Think of a specific situation and what happened. Now, think if a friend had done that what would your reaction and feelings be.
The sad fact is we should expect better standards from our family than anyone else. But it's not the reality.