Hi long post please bear with me.
I have been with my husband for 20years. I am not in love with him. It feels as though it's more of a marriage of convenience really. We both work, have 2 teens and just plod along. He has had some issues with alcohol. Becomes nasty and angry, punches holes in the wall etc. He works hard but hardly spends his spare doing much We've grown apart I feel. Our sex life is almost non existent and I am no longer attracted to him. I don't enjoy his company. We have a house with a small mortgage because I paid most of it off with an inheritance. How do couples seperate? I want him to move out for a while but he won't go, says we will sell before he moves out. I always back down because I don't want to upset the kids and everything returns to normal. We dont always argue and can meander on for weeks. What do I do?
Marriage issues
Marriage issues
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
6 Replies
I would personally sell the house and go your seperate ways. It’s no way to live xx.
Either you move out or put the house on the market and sell it
Would the 2 of you give marriage councilling a go?
20yrs together is a lot to just throw away.
I totally get where you're coming from. I have been with my husband for 27 years, I no longer love him and am not attracted to him in any way. He can be very nasty and I told him a while ago I wanted to separate. Despite this the only thing that changed is that we no longer sleep in the same bed. Other than that it feels like business as usual. I am now at the point where I'm planning to move out with our son as I don't want to continue the way things are. Usually there is one person in the relationship who's the initiator and it sounds like you may need to move out to get him to move. Separation can be hard on kids but at the end of the day you being unhappy can be hard on them too.
I asked him to move out. He says he'll look for a place but I know he won't plus the kids won't want to live with him. I wish it was simple but it isnt.
Speaking as a child who grew up in similar circumstances, see a lawyer, seperate, drop his toxic lazy arse. It’s better to come from a broken home than live in a broken home!