How do I “deal” with this. How do I help my child. Her father told her “if it wasn’t for you kids I would kill myself”. She had started pulling away from him, not wanting to go every 2nd weekend to his place. Not feeling like a priority in his life. His money would be spent on alcohol and himself and it’s my fault because of child support that he’s always broke.
They just got back from a holiday with him staying with his girlfriend who lives in another state. She’s fantastic and looks after the kids. But I see that he manipulates the kids into feeling sorry for him. My child is, as she puts it “stressed” by what her dad said. He told her (again) that he’s giving up alcohol and not doing drugs because his new job he gets tested all the time. He also taught the kids how to get in free to the movies because he didn’t have enough money to pay for everyone. We don’t “co-parent”. If he doesn’t get his way I alway cop it. We have court orders as he once threatened to not return one of the kids. They are now young teenagers and don’t want to hurt their dads feelings. What do I do. Do I tell them he’s manipulating them because they started pulling away from him? What does this do for their emotional health.
Manipulating parent.
Manipulating parent.
Posted in:
Mental Health, Health & Wellbeing, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
3 Replies
I’d get them some mental health support. Let them get to a healthy understanding about there dad with the help of a professional. Help them develop some coping mechanisms and learning that the adults happiness is not there responsibility.
I’d quietly (without telling the kids) gets legal advice in regards to there age and seeing there dad (if they eventually choose not to see him It helps to understand the legal position).
A lot of what you say is guess work and opinions. She can go to counselling to learn to deal with her Dad. It sounds like he could be struggling a bit with mental health and financially which puts its toll on anyone. Try and strengthen and encourage the relationship rather than look for ways for her to stop going.
Please make sure you get your daughter some help to deal with this!! As a child/teen my mother said this to me numerous times (she has an acquired brain injury so it was never a manipulative thing). I always thought I was ok with it all but wasn't until later life that I realised how much it affected me.... As for the manipulation your ex is doing if you have records indicating the damage he is doing from professionals then it will give you and your kids a leg to stand on in future if needed