I'm 27 and just started to get back into dating.
Mummas tell me what is happening with the dating world these days.
I'm a full time single mum I'm studying 2 nights a week and working 3 days. I'm fit I try and run 20ks a week. My dad likes to take my son out on the weekends so I do have time to date.
I was really interested in one man a few months ago but he wasn't motivated to get a proper job, he is 30 and works for a mate when he is asked for cash in the hand. He told me basically straight out he was more interested in fishing and living life than working, which is fine each to their own but it was a turn off for me. We are still great friends which is nice.
A lot of men are adding me on Facebook latley who just like to go out and drink at nights at the pub with mates and don't have any interest in doing anything but. I'm active I like to be active.
Alot just look like thugs big chains around their necks covered in tattoos (I'm really attracted to tattoos) but they look really bikey like.
Then there are the ones who have their kids every second weekend for one night their choice they don't have any interest in their kids which is sad. One man even told me he was starting a new business and could never get the time to see his kids he has to make sacrifices to get the business running and this is one he has to make.
He had them his first night in 2 months and ended up letting his mum have them. Who sacrifices their own children for something?!
Or they all just want a root and boot. Or don't want to get serious with a single mum.
Do t get me started on the games and the rules.
I'm at a loss am I looking in the wrong places, or is this the way men are these days? Am I being to picky? I feel like if I'm not attacked to them I'm not attracted. I would love to find someone I have things in common with.
Any mum's out there that are in this dating world? Is it just me in this boat? Curious to know every one's thoughts on single men these days.
The dating world
The dating world
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care, Health & Wellbeing
11 Replies
Try divorced men? I know a few guys who were cheated on that have struggled to find a woman with a good work ethic that accepted they had kids.
I must be getting old but this post seems really odd for a 27 year old to write.
I’m a single mum in my 40s.
I would suggest focus on hobbies and interests and joining clubs around that, then you will met likeminded people.
Reading between the lines, I would say you’ve been using online dating, it’s okay, you can be honest. I used it and it was a cesspool, that’s why I suggest hobbies and interests.
Why is it odd? This could be the first time she's dated as an adult. I know I didn't start dating as an adult until I was 37!! I had no idea what I was doing. I was with my ex from 17 to 33.
I was with mine 17 to 33 too! No idea about dating
I was with mine 17 to 33 too! No idea about dating
The dating pool is full of those that are single for a reason. Ask the right questions. Don't settle for guys you wouldn't want as your ex haha. Like another poster said get out and go do your hobbies and meet people that way.
Make a list of what you want in a guy. From this post I can see you want someone who is fitness oriented, puts his kids first (if he has them, or at least understands the importance of putting kids first), has a full time job and is past the partying stage. That probably means you need to look at guys that are in their 30's at least. If you have online dating profiles make your bio really clear on what you're looking for, this will weed out most of the guys that are just after a root because they steer clear of women who want commitment. Also make your profile picture nice but not overly sexual, it just gets too many idiots that are only after one thing and makes it harder to weed out who is legit and who isn't.
Guys who add you on Facebook generally aren’t genuine in my experience. They are looking for someone to chat too, fool around with etc but generally can’t be taken seriously. Also look at the vibe of your Facebook pics. What are your pics like? I know I have to monitor what I put out there carefully. Loads of selfies with cleavage and butt will attract pervs. Workout gear, will attract pervs. I’m not saying that’s what you are doing, I have no idea what’s on your profile.
I’ve got huge boobs so don’t put any pics up that include them, cause I know what’s going to happen.
If you want to try online dating then carefully curate your pics for the type of man you want to attract. If you want a family man, present yourself as a family person. A small amount of makeup, jeans and a t-shirt pic, no posing like your on Instagram. You will still have to weed out some tossers but the right guys will have a better chance of finding you.
Otherwise getting involved in some hobbies and social groups and meeting a guy through mutual interests is awesome too.
Perhaps try eharmony?
After a string of rubbish relationships I tried it. Met a few duds, but then met my husband.
Eharmony has a massive quiz when you sign up and it matches you with people who only have similar interests as you. So that's a positive.
I'm much like you, attracted to tattoos and a definite certain type. My husband is the complete opposite (but still attractive haha), but he is an amazing man and a perfect fit for me - we're pretty much the same person split into 2.
Perhaps you look outside of what you're physically attracted to and see if there is another type of person you were looking over, while trying to find the one that looks right?
Plus on your profile you should put down in dot point what you're actually after, narrow it down that way.
Lucky you! 6 months on eharmony and not even a date! No one o would consider
Lucky you! 6 months on eharmony and not even a date! No one o would consider