So a little over 3 years ago split with me then husband. It was my decision. We had a joint loan together and had 50/50 custody of the kids. I helped him get another job and another house - he decided to leave all behind and move interstate (because he felt trapped living here and his mummy was in another state not for work or any good reason) not that any of that truly matters. Cut to today. I have 85% care of the kids. He has them school holidays and is supposed to visit once a month - which he frequently misses. He pays no child support (because the govt says he doesn’t have to) mind you he earnt above 65K last year so he isn’t struggling financially (also doesn’t pay rent etc as mummy sorts all that). He allowed the joint loan to go so near default so many times that I paid the $3500 he had let slip to get the loan back on track (and save my own ass from a bad credit rating) in Nov 2018 - he has paid “his half” in dribs and drabs into my bank account over the last 12 months but has missed around $2700 worth of payments. I pay the full loan amount every week and extra to pay it faster and have accepted that anything I get from him towards the loan is better than nothing. Until 3 day’s ago. I checked the loan and he has been STEALING the extra money o have been putting in from the “available balance” of the loan. So to put this in a nice summary
Doesn’t pay anything for his kids
Doesn’t pay his half of the loan
Steals the extra I have paid towards it.
I confronted him about it and he admitted it and says it’s okay because 3 years ago when we spilt I took the $500 available balance from the loan - I did this because he was still living under my roof and had refused to work for 12 weeks and I needed the $500 to pay bills. The best part of all of this is that I saw this coming and put a “block” on removing the “available balance” that he would have had to call he bank and remove before being able to access the money. So he has gone out of his way to f**k me over. The worst part is, he isn’t stealing from me. He is stealing from his kids. Every cent he doesn’t pay comes from me, meaning they miss out on something. And now he is stealing money that I have put into the loan to get my family out of debt faster. Bank says there is nothing they can do. What can I do? What would you do? I want to go to the police but don’t even know where to start.
* please note. I tried to remove him from the loan and to take out a new loan to pay it out and because he let the loan get so close to default so many times the bank wouldn’t let me I tried everything I could think of - I will be able to now as it’s been 6 months of solid loan paying 110% by me - although the balance has barely moved thanks to that parasite*
13 Replies
I'd see a lawyer. Or write a letter to him stating everything here and that he has 30 days to come up with what he owes you or you are taking him to court
Can I actually do that? Without seeing police. Wouldn’t the legal fees end up more than he owes? Would prob be worth it anyway just to attempt a lesson in how not to be a scum bag
You can ring legal aid in your town or state and get some free advice over the phone for up to 30mins, either way, if you pursue still write the letter giving him an end date, and a transaction list of the money he has taken. Go hard honey and good luck
Small claims court? Maybe
Put a 2 to sign on the loan for withdrawal this means he can’t take the money without your signature. Them to switch it to a non withdraw loan being fixed. Get them to put a note on the file to explain the situation to also block the account
This is what I thought I achieved 12 months ago. I was assured by the person I was dealing with that he could not access any money from the loan. But as it turns out all he had to do was call. They now tell me I can go INTO the branch and sign a form that will Actually lock the loan - none of which they told me to do in the first place. I plan on doing this Monday morning when the bank opens. I am now more interested in re cooping my losses from the last 2 years of paying the loan by myself as he cannot continue to think he can treat me or our children as his own personal piggy bank. After this blatant disrespect I am going to do everything in my power to teach him a lesson. Not just “lock the loan” again
In this case you can lodge case with the banks customer relations team and advise of what has happens. That you where advised the lock was in place and as a result this has happened. They will look at nots on the profile. Unfortunately recovery of the funds taken might not be possible as it’s in both names. Get the statement showing him withdrawing the funds. Get the bank to do what they can especially if they advised you that the account was locked and ask for options of refinancing the loan in your name as a option due to the loan not being locked down.
In this case you can lodge case with the banks customer relations team and advise of what has happens. That you where advised the lock was in place and as a result this has happened. They will look at nots on the profile. Unfortunately recovery of the funds taken might not be possible as it’s in both names. Get the statement showing him withdrawing the funds. Get the bank to do what they can especially if they advised you that the account was locked and ask for options of refinancing the loan in your name as a option due to the loan not being locked down.
I was going to say that drawing cash back from a loan account that is in his name too isn't stealing in the eyes of the law. However, you noted below that you were told he COULD not access it at all. If that is the case, put a complaint in with the bank and request the call recording be listened to as they may compensate if you were very clear about what you needed and were given bad advice. Beyond that, pay out the loan, either by getting another loan which you say you could possibly get now, or selling stuff to get the money. Then lodge through small claims court for compensation. As the loan is in both names, you are equally and jointly responsible. That means you can't get something in place for him to pay his 'half because that's not actually a thing.
I would call the bank and ask what they would take to pay the loan and close now. Don't offer full amount due to their error. You will find that at the moment banks would prefer the money then a battle. Get it done and get him out of your life.
I don’t know why he doesn’t have to pay child support, my ex pays child supports and he’s earning less than 50k a year and I’m still entitled to $100 a week, no advice on how to recoup the money but could you open an account and pay what you would pay extra into it. And once the balance is there pay it off and have them close the loan completely. It’s what I did. When my ex and I had a joint account I paid off what he had in overdues and what he had taken out of the overdraw and closed the account. They shit it down immediately and I wasn’t tied to him anymore. I was so pissed he was using the overdraws to support his habit when he called me to ask me why I had shut down the account and abuse me becasue he couldn’t get any money out I laughed at him and hung ups
You can't just rem9ve him from the loan but you can change to both to operate and he will no longer be able to do this, you will b9th be able to make payments only and not redraw on the available balance.
What happens if he decides or tries to force the sale and ask for half, if you have been paying it? Will financial settlement mean he will end up benefiting from you paying?