I will no doubt get slammed by some for the way I’ve found out about the following but here goes..
Last year my partner and I had a brief separation while we were expecting our baby.He was a big alcoholic(recovering now) back then and I had to walk away for self preservation.
Our baby was born and I guess he seen the light at the end of the tunnel and is doing well now.
The hard part..he was honest about seeing someone whilst separated which i have no issues with apart from the fact for about a week after we got back together,they were still in text contact.I told him that even though we weren’t together when they seen each other,it is highly disrespectful etc to continue to have any kind of contact and I won’t stand for that.He understood and deleted her number and had no contact.
Recently I have discovered that this female has now had a baby.Ive done the math and part of me thinks there may be a slight chance my partner the father and may not know or did/does know and had just cut contact as he may not have wanted anything to do with them.I hope that’s not the case as no one like parents that turn their backs on their offspring,me included.
Here’s where I will no doubt get slammed...I made contact with this female pretending to be my partner.She replied respectfully as were my messages..hey how’s things..what have you been up to etc.
She said she now has a baby.I replied with oh congratulations my baby is now such and such age,how old is yours? She replied to that but didn’t say exactly how old only around x months old.
Small talk was made and she asked what made you make contact after all this time.I answered and then asked her why she never made contact either and asked politely if there is a chance I could be the father?
She never replied.I know that is either as she was offended etc or my hunch of the possibility that my part could be the father is true.
I haven’t mentioned this to my partner,I wouldn’t know how to and I don’t think I should as I don’t know for sure and have no way of knowing for sure,but I can’t stop thinking about it and don’t know what to do?
Possible child partner fathered with someone else whilst separated
Possible child partner fathered with someone else whilst separated
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
8 Replies
Why would you not just ask directly. Be open and honest..
Then you can move forward with the information.
Simple. Ask your partner. And if his answer isn't simple and you don't trust/believe him, or he doesn't know the answer. Ask the woman. It doesn't have to be a big messy deal. It's a big deal, but ffs don't make it a messy one.
Could be a chance she already told him it's his so your questioning made it obvious it wasn't him? I don't know. I think you need to ask him directly. If it's his and he doesn't know about it he needs to know anyway.
Ask him.
The fact that you felt like catfishing some poor women with a newborn was a better option than simply addressing this with your partner tells me there are still some BIG issues in your relationship.
Trust and communication - without it, you might as well pack your bags. At the moment, your relationship has neither.
Talk to him, be honest about everything. What you know to be factual, what you suspect, how you contacted her under the impression you were him - everything!
In the meantime, don't contact her again!
Why would you pretend to be him? What a sneaky thing to do. If they ever do talk one day she will bring up that conversation with him and he's going to know you pretended to be him and didn't tell him about it. If I were you, I'd come clean and tell him what you did and while your at it, ask him yourself about the possibility of the child being his.
You are acting insane! Leave this poor women alone. Even if it is your partners baby it’s not up to you to play detective, leave it up to the babies parents to figure out. You two weren’t together so they broke no rules and didn’t do anything wrong by anybody. I would tell you prayer that you did this ASAP as it is going to come out eventually and you are going to look crazy
You can’t have a fresh start with a lie like this. Of course you need to talk to him. Tell him about the messages as well.
He will be rightfully furious if he finds out in a few years time and you have known this whole time.... he would miss out on that time with his baby.
Do the right thing. You can’t have a fresh start and hide something like this.... it is very very wrong