Unit too small

Anon Imperfect Mum

Unit too small

My ex lives in a 2 bedroom unit with his girlfriend and father. He gets our 2 kids one night a week. Is this legal? The kids don't even have a room to share. But at mine they have a room each

Posted in:  Kids

10 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

It’s not ideal but families have had more children than rooms since the dark ages.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

one night a week? It’s not a big deal. Gosh I’ve heard of up to 6 kids sharing a room.
Growing up we shared our 3 bedroom house with 2 other families for 3 years. I’m not scarred.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

It sounds like temporary accommodation. Give the guy a break, one night a week of sleeping on the couch isn't going to hurt them. My kids do that now even with their own rooms. Not worth interfering with your kids relationship with their Dad if everything else is OK. If he tries for more care then insist he gets a bigger place but as it is now, it's OK.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Are they safe? Are they having their needs met? Are they happy?

It's not ideal but I think you need to consider the bigger picture...

Because let's be real here, housing affordability and availability is a real problem in Australia (assuming that's where you're from but even so, I imagine it's a huge issue in other countries too).

As for the legalities, having their own rooms can be a stipulation of a custody arrangement but ask yourself if you really want to go down that path. If he's an otherwise good dad but simply cannot change his living arrangements, it will impact the kids already limited access with their dad which doesn't seem fair.

My neighbours are from a culture where it's typical to have 10+ members of their extended family live in a 2/3 bedder house, so just try and put it in perspective.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

My old work place sponsored a Filipino man to come and work for them and provided him with a 3 bedroom house to bring his wife and 2 kids, they moved all the beds into one room because that's how they had lived all their lives! They kept saying how big the house was, it was just an average size house 😂💕

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I've lived in big houses. Hate them. Too much cleaning, the rents are higher, utilities are much more expensive, too much lawn and gardens, and too much effort and expense to furnish . I prefer simple living. These days I'm in a two bed unit with four of us. My partner and I in one room. Two kids in the other. No lawns, $250 a week in rent, ten mins from the city, small utility costs. Its cosy and cute, easy to keep clean, and suits the four of us perfectly! Our couch folds out into a double bed if any friends or family want to sleep over. We love it !! You are being far too petty judging them for how they live. You are being ridiculous.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Actually I think there is something where they need privacy and their own safe place to sleep. Do you trust his girlfriend and father? If not, I do think you could argue it and have the sleepovers stopped.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I wouldn't be entirely happy with this arrangement either. My kids are young and I like them to have a fair bit of stability around their sleep and routines ect so this wouldn't be okay in our situation.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Owe god your that mum. Pick your battles and move on. They have a sleep over at dads once a week it’s not the end of the world. If it’s that much of an issue for you maybe have 50/50 care. If that was the case I’m sure he would move to a bigger place and have a proper bedroom set up for them

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I have a 4 bedroom house. On the rare occasion hubby and I go to bed without any of the kids, they're all in our room before morning anyway. May as well be in a 1 bedroom unit lol. Are the kids safe? Because otherwise, it doesn't really matter where they sleep since that's the time they're not conscious.

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