Hi, is there anyone out there living with an abusive (not physical) partner or husband? If so how do you get through each day? How do you handle situations in front of your children or what do you say to them?
I’m over being called a fu**ing stupid c*nt multiple times a day, I’m over the way he puts my children down, I’m over the way he makes everything my responsibility and blames me for his Mistakes. I can’t ‘talk’ to him as everytime I try I again get abused and told that I’m the one with a fu**ing problem and needs help, not him.
I can no longer manage his mood swings and depression and he has decided to stop taking his depression medication (after being on it for almost a decade) as all of our problems are in my head and are my fault, oh it if I dare say anything I am told to stop carrying on like a stupid c*nt...
I know it would be easier to leave but unfortunately my only option for now is to stay as he has made it very clear what he will do to my children and me if I go.
How do I survive a narcissistic partner??
How do I survive a narcissistic partner??
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
11 Replies
You don't. It's crushing you. Affecting you and your other relationships more than you know and more than he's worth.
Stop trying to hold onto someone who is so damaging to you. You can do without him. Depspite what he is training you to believ, you WILL soar without him and all he is bringing to your life.
He successfully isolated me from all friends without me even realising, The hardest part is no one would even believe me if I told them about the issues as he is so charming and convincing to everyone else. If I go, it would have to be far away as he will track me down and take our son, he will also make me out to be the bad mother so I lose custody of him and my older two sons from a previous marriage. I was even thinking about encouraging him to do contract work in regional areas so we can have a break from him
It’s like you are describing my life. I wish I knew how to get out safely. He screams and abuses me then asks for money but I’m made to feel like I have to give it (he is unemployed and spends what he gets on himself. I had to reduce work hours “to be a proper mum” but also pay every bill. It’s horrible. I also slee on the floor as “he pod for the bed and if I don’t put out I don’t get to use it”
I have been sleeping on the lounge as often as I can, I often just go to bed either before or after him so I am left alone. The hardest part is the the side effects of dealing with the stress, I eat when I’m stressed, he makes me so stressed I vomit.
I feel you, I work with mine, I have to be by his side helping him at work all day, run around after the kids and look after them after school, get home late and still have a meal and a spotless home while organising and paying all of our bills, plus keeping up with our business paperwork, quotes, stock orders, designs etc. I actually told him today that I hate him....
Ladies... I’m so sorry you are both in this situation 😔 From someone who’s been there and where this kind of relationship became my “normal”... I beg you both to take care of yourselves and get counselling. They will help you to see just how damaging this is to you and your kids. For me i didn’t see the level of the damage to my daughter and I until after I left. There is an incredible life for you without this kind of treatment. You can’t find it while you are constantly in damage control (walking on eggshells) and in survival mode (fighting for a relationship that will never work). I wish you all the best ❤️
Same been here its horrendus and breaks your soul until your so broken you just say I'll take whatever it's all control he is losing it and knows it so being more horrible ! The name calling cuts deep and the threats it's actually an scary process that no one understands unless they have lived it .. BUT there is a way out go to centrelink and get help fast and make a plan , do not antagonise him or just ignore him and walk away ! When your ready get couselling to help understand this mental emotional abuse then try leave 7 yrs it took me and it was bad at the end ! I was convinced he would kill me but I left and now am the happiest I have been in years and it shows, lost weight look better feel better and feeling free is the best feeling in the world do it for you and your babies.. he is a horrible human shame on him
I have been in this situation. It is very difficult and it will get worse. Get in touch with your local DV support, they are anon and will offer you support and not force you to do anything you don't want to. In the meantime, document everything. Every threat, every insult, every manipulative action. I eventually convinced him I was going to stay with my Dad for a few weeks and then broke up with him so I wasn't in the same house. I tried to co-parent but he made threats to me and our child. I documented everything and made police reports and it only got worse. I got a dvo and issued him a letter stating he was no longer allowed unsupervised contact with our child. It was a really tough few months but it gets better. You deserve better. Your children deserve better. He may not even bother you once he realises that he can't use the kids to control you, mine doesn't, doesn't even contact his child. The dvo states he may only text or email me and only about our child so this prevents him from knowing about my business. Get a good, strong support network in place for you. Get counselling. Get in contact with legal advice. Get everything in your corner so that when you are ready to make the break you can do it confidentially and with strength. It's ok to cry. You got this xxx
There are some great support groups for people trying to survive or escape a narcissist on facebook. Closed groups so you can post for advice safely. We will beleieve you as we have all been through the same.
You dont survive in the relationship, you have to fight to get out and get away. They destroy you and will diacard you when they dont need you anymore. You need an escape plan to get your kids out of there. He will destroy them as well.
Join some groups and get some advice from people who understand and can give you advice from experience oxox
I’m sorry but that is just an excuse for you to put off leaving. What is more important.? Get yourself a plan, record the things he says. keep his text messages with threats. Ring domestic violence help line and get the hell out of there. There is no excuse for you to stay. He is destroying you and your family. Get them to a safe place. Stop making up excuse to stay with him. You are allowing it to destroy you children. There is help out there in your situation, so take it and do what you need to do. He is manipulating you with threats so you don’t leave. GET OUT NOW!!
They are threats he won’t get your son, first of all seek a lawyer tell them your plan and ask for advice and put it into action. Go to legal aid so you are covered for when you make the break. It’s only going to get worse. Get out of there.
It's doing your kids more damage by staying...Coming from a broken home is better than living in one. ...I've been through this, it will only get worse. Start marriage councelling. Start reading about boundaries. Sit down with him and make some rules. No swearing. No name calling. Share the household work equally. Start telling your friends and family, his family as well when he does this. Don't be a silent victim. Get some councelling yourself. Start preparing to leave him. It will all come to a head sooner or later.