Hi mums
My Mr8 has told me tonight that his dad has been exposing him to movies that are M,MA15+ & R18, that most of them are horror movies and movies full of sex.
I am disgusted and angry at his dad for exposing him to this kind of filth, I do not let my child watch anything over PG.
I don’t know what to do next, what can I do?
Is this child abuse?
I have told my son that he is not to watch anything like that and walk away if it is put on the family tv.
9 Replies
It's almost impossible for a child to go against what the adult in charge says or does. They just don't have the capacity or maturity to be able to. I would definitely look into repercussions and follow through even with a lawyer letter.
I'm pretty relaxed about movie ratings, my kids (8,10 and 12) all love things like the Fast and Furious franchise, Marvel and DC franchises, Jurassic Park plus lots of other things like that that are pretty much all M15+
I draw the line at horror movies though, because I know they'd traumatise my kids. Though I know some people who've taken their 9 year olds to see Pet Semetary 🤔
Look, this depends on so many things as to whether it constitutes abuse, to be honest though I think it'd have to be like porno level stuff and really quite explicit violence before it'd be classed as child abuse by law.
You say "exposed" does that mean he is forcing your son to watch them or just not thinking and putting them on while your son is around?
Is it possible your son is stretching the truth? My kids have told me that "dad let me do this, watch that, this that and the other" thinking I was born yesterday and that I'd then let them do these things!
(I'm not at all suggesting your son is lying BTW, just suggesting you should double check before going in guns blazing - I've made that mistake before 😂).
Are these movies upsetting, disturbing or confusing to your son?
Are there any movies like the ones I've mentioned above that you could possibly let slide, sort of picking your battles so to speak?
Is just talking to dad in a non condescending way at all possible? Because that would be my first action here! Just a "hey, can you wait till little Joey goes to bed before watching things like Game of Thrones (for example), it's really not kid friendly and I'm a bit worried about what he taking in from movies and shows like that?"
I don't think I would go as far to say child abuse. My kids have watched those kind of movies at that age, not from me but their uncle. They love scary movies while I hate them. Sometimes the ratings are really odd anyway, I have watched R movies before and thought why is it even rated R??? Then I have seen some PG movies which I thought probably should be rated MA. Some kids are more sensitive to others too, my Bil had to take his 8 year old daughter out of the cinema last year because she got too scared during a kids movie, she was the only one out of the whole cinema to leave and there were kids of all ages. Just ask your ex not to watch R movies or movies with sex scenes and nudity while your son is there. That's a reasonable request!
It’s definitely inappropriate but I’m not sure about abuse.
I would mention it to your ex. Tell him your concerns. Give him the opportunity to realise it’s inappropriate. If he changes fine. If not go back to mediation.
Is it actual porn or just stuff with a rating you don’t approve of?
If it’s just because it’s over PG Child protection would be totally overwhelmed if this was classed as child abuse.
I’d have a chat, but there is nothing you can really do.
If it’s actual porn then that’s a different matter.
Many computer games kids play at that age are just as bad. Absolutely not child abuse unless he is using it as grooming. It's a parental decision that you disagree with. My 8 year old watches marvel movies that have the same rating. We just watch them first. I also don't allow certain games but I don't think other kids that are allowed are abused.
Is he your ex or you still live together? The post is not clear on that, though I do assume it's your ex. Just ask that he watches it in another room or tell him what kind of scenes you don't want your son watching like violence, murder and sex scenes.
Honestly, without knowing the movie titles, no-one can really give a properly informed reply.... are you going by the Australian ratings or the American ratings?? Our MA15+ is America’s R18+.... are you able to give a bit more information here??
Thank you everyone for your responses
I suppose everyone’s views of what is ok for an 8 year old to see is different.
I’m a very conservative mum,
My Mr 8 tells me he has seen movies with tongue kissing and groping etc as well as the horror stuff.
He says he has seen family guy, (and those similar tv shows), many Steven king horror movies, movies like vacation....
I personally do not let my Mr 8 watch anything MA15+ or over because of the adult themes.
It makes me uncortable knowing my innocent Mr 8 is being shown these inappropriate images/scenes.
Mr 8’s father and I are separated and he is very one minded, anything I say goes over his ears, I have tried telling him various times to not expose Mr 8 to these themes.
I do not believe he is forcing Mr 8 to watch them however Mr 8 says he has 2 options when those kind of movies are on, watch the movie or go to bed.