Not sure how to word this so here goes..
My partner and I separated last year for approximately 5 months.
I didn’t have any new sexual partners during that time.I know that he had at least one.And that’s ok as we weren’t together at that time.Heres were it gets weird and concerning..I have been spotting between periods.We had a conversation tonight about it and the many reasons it could be happening(yes I am going to the drs to be checked)
I point blank asked him when we got back together if he was in the clear if he had any new sexual partners during the split and he said it was all fine.
Tonight I said so you got sti tested to cover the time we were separated if you had sexual activity then?He got real cagey and defensive and said “I don’t have to tell you what I got up to during that time.Book an appointment and we will go together”.
I agree with him about I don’t need to know what he got up to etc but the crowd he hung around would be considered high risk and I think I should be respected enough to be answered if I’ve now been put at risk.I said to him that you’re willing to sit next to me in front of a dr and answer about this topic but not straight to me now?I also asked if he thought he may have caught something during that time and he said no.
I’m feeling confused and concerned as to why he is just saying we will go to the drs together and I’m not talking about it anymore...his words.
Not sure what to think except run..
We also have one child together who was born after we reconciled so I feel horrible right now
Sexual health when separated
Sexual health when separated
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
5 Replies
Why get back together with him when there is obviously secrecy going on? You both aren't ready to rekindle anything right now, if ever, and you're both still toxic with each other. This is just another thing to ad to the list of the reasons you both split up in the first place. Call it a day and move along. Sometimes love just ain't enough.
They would have STI checked you during pregnancy. There’s many reasons you could be spotting. Are you up to date with Pap smears?
OK, so when you got back together sexual health was discussed and he said he was all good. You start spotting which could be happening for so many reasons, you basically point blank accuse him of having an STI, can you understand why he might be reacting to that defensively? How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of that?
As the above commenter said, most STIs would be picked up during your prenatal care, in my hospital chlamydia swabs weren't optional as it's such a common one to get. Your bloods should have been checked for things like hepatitis and HIV!
While it's possible something may have been missed, it's quite unlikely.
I think you should just go see your doctor and get some answers first, then address any sexual health issues If they're present. Some couples counselling is probably needed too, there's clearly some old wounds creating trust issues.
There is a very high chance he'd have NO symptoms with an STI so he really couldn't answer that truthfully anyway. Condoms don't even 100% protect against either.
Your spotting could also be completely unrelated. So i would try not place the blame until you actually know for sure why you're spotting.
He sounds like he can't really tell you anymore then he has (without telling you too much information which is fair) and trying to be supportive by coming along with you. I'd just leave it where it is and see what comes of the doctors appointment. Other wise your just digging yourself in a hole again and will wound up broken up again.
It sounds like you don’t trust him and are scared (so jumped to conclusions and blame).
I’d probably have gotten defensive if someone was accusing me of giving them an STI too.
Gosh irregular bleeding can happen for so many reasons, so I think you’ve jumped the gun.
If you don’t trust him, that’s totally a valid feeling and yeah it might be time to move on. However if these feelings just about you thinking he gave you an STI I’d wait for the results.