When we started the relationship, he asked me how many man I had sex with, and I lied to him that I just had one man before him (but I actually had more in my single time). I confessed to him after one year in relationship and he forgave me at that time. Now is come to year 3, he still tortures me as he thinks I sleep with EVERY SINGLE MAN I met, which just drive me nuts, because I never cheat on him, I can swear on my son’s life. He has 2 boys before me and we have 1 together and we all live together, his kids call me Mum. If I made $10, I would use $11 for this family without any complaints. I’m so desperate as every time we fight, he always treat me like and called me “dirty slut”. He even brought our son to DNA test because he said my little boy is nothing like him. I packed up and left so many times but he always pulled me back. What should I do? Does he hate me that much and just want to keep me for revenge?
19 Replies
Leave, he is abusing you!! My partner has slept with about 10 people I only know because I was curious he doesn’t want to know how many people I’ve slept with but I know how many people I’ve slept with and it far exceeds his tally. But he never brings it up. You lied to him and then got the guilts on and told him a year in. I’m pretty sure there is more to that story but that doesn’t even come into it. Your partner is an abuser and you were so worried about what he could think of you that you chose not to tell him and then you told the truth and your worst fears came true.
Leave do not go back, you are worth so much more and there’s probably a reason that his ex is his ex and didn’t stick around and now you’re dealing with the person she left. He is a hideous person on the inside and you need to kick his abusive arse to the curb and learn to love yourself. And don’t lie to your next partner when you find them. Tell them it’s somwthing you’re not willing to discuss because it’s in your past and if they want to be your future then they’ll learn it’s not a topic of conversation.
The fact you had to lie to him about your past sexual partners to begin with tells you about the type of jealous, possessive, insecure man he is!
A decent man wouldn't care or even feel the need to know.
Doesn't matter if you had 1 or 100 previous sexual partners, slut shaming and verbal/emotional abuse is absolutely disgusting behaviour from anyone but it's an abhorrent way for someone to treat their spouse!
Abuse. You'll never make him like you. Please don't waste your life with someone who thinks that lowly of you. That's an enemy, your partner should be your number one supporter.
This is abuse, plain and simple. It’s time to leave once and for all!
Leave, he sounds like a ahole! What a drop kick constantly using this information against you. Makes you want to be so honest and upfront with him, NOT!!
Wtf. For one you never should have had to lie, who cares. Really this all super strange to me. It makes me think maybe you are young. I can't imagine anyone even asking me how many people I've been with. Probably a lot lot more then you. It's not something to be ashamed off and non of your current partners business absolutely nothing to do with him who you slept with in the past.
The guy is a massive jerkasaurus. I wouldn’t put up with that shit.
Doesn’t matter if you slept with no one or 1000, it’s none of his business
And if it wasn't that, it would be something else. It probably is other things too. He says he loves you (and he also says how lucky you are you since youre so unlovable and won't find another, right?) But when it comes down to it, in private, he's not on your side is he?
Why would he need to know that?? Or want to???
so he can cause shit and hold it against her. Narcissistic people look for information they can use against other people.
I reckon he probably hates himself more than anything and he's projecting it on to you. Sorry to say but he's probably cheating too , people accuse others of doing these things obsessively are usually doing it themselves. Remember the kids involved in this are watching and learning how to treat others/be treated by others, would you want that for them? You deserve better x
It doesn’t really matter that you didn’t tell him the truth. It’s not about you. This is about him.! He sounds like a narcissist and shouldn’t called calling you a dirty slut. It’s down right disrespectful.! Pack your bags and leave. Go be happy and free from him and don’t let him drag you back in.
Agree. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He's calling her what he is... projecting at it's finest. He's cheating and he's telling on himself by blaming you for doing exactly what he's doing.
He is wanting you to feel shit about yourself. He obviously is insecure and is prob the one cheating!! Move on and be free of him. It’s abuse!
I have slept with 20+ people my husband has slept with 3.
He knows not to ask, he knows I have a past, he doesn't care.
Your partners behavior is disgusting and unacceptable.
You are not worthy of being treated this way. No one is.
I can tell you, you should leave. But i know how hard that is. You need to make that decision.
But I can tell you this, sleeping with someone doesn't make you a slut, it doesn't make you worth any less of a person. All the very best xoxox
Run away ... now. Dude is a whole heap of pain wrapped up to look human
There is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with him. It doesn’t matter how many people you have slept with this is a jealous, controlling man. You deserve better if you want it. I have slept with more men than I have bothered counting over 110 at least. I’m in my 40s.When you add up all the years it averages out to about 4 of 5 a year hardly interesting. I told my partner he said he was about the same amount and we laughed about it cause we have an open honest relationship without judgement. If you can’t be open and honest and not judged in your own home where can you be yourself?
This is domestic violence. You have described his having tell tale traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They PROJECT all they are doing and are onto you. If he's accusing you of doing something you are not, 9 out of 10 times he'll be the one doing it. Best advice, contact the mother of the two older boys, help her get the boys back and take your son and get as far away from him as possible.
This isn’t about you at all! It is all about him and his issues he is projecting on to you. It is not normal. It is emotional abuse. You need to be strong and leave him and not go back. You deserve better. Your son deserves better