Please bear with me as I’m not sure how to get this out without seeming horrible..
My partner has put on weight and its starting to affect our sex life.
Now before anyone has a go at me for my question..I love my husband just how he is,no matter what his size it etc,it’s just made things abit awkward in bed all of a sudden and I’m not sure why?
He has always been a bit of a solid guy but has put on close to 30 kg.He doesn’t eat that much junk and I am also concerned about his health,not just the sex thing.He has even made comments about himself how his belly gets in the road now when he puts his shoes on which upsets me for him as it hurts to see him so down on himself.
When it comes to sex though now..due to the weight gain..and I feel horrible even writing this..it’s like I can’t feel his penis as much anymore.Some positions that we used to do are just not the same anymore as,to me,it makes him seem smaller and it makes me feel loose.He has also insinuated that I am loose and to get some jade balls and do “those exercises”
That really upset me.My weight hasn’t changed really at all.
We don’t have as much sex as we used to since I noticed these things.It also seems to take a long time for him to get an erection when it is sexy time but he can randomly get a raging boner at inappropriate times when we can’t make use of it lol.I went down on him the last time and it took around 5mins to get him erect and it didn’t feel like a full erection.The length was there but just not as hard as normal.I also thing he watches porn more times than we have sex and I’m worried that’s what he needs to get excited.I don’t have anything against porn except when it becomes an addiction and interferes with your sex life.
I don’t know what to do?I don’t want to hurt his feelings by bringing up this subject in the wrong way despite the way he’s made me feel and the terrible things he’s said to me about this almost like trying to makes an excuse when something happens or he comes too quickly(despite not having sex for a couple of weeks)I love this man but something is going on and I’m not sure what to do.
Weight gain affecting sex life
Weight gain affecting sex life
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
5 Replies
Everything you are saying he probably already knows and that's why he has made comments, to deflect from himself.
If he isn't going to change his weight then it's time to get a little more creative with sex positions.
I am a very overweight girl and hubby and I have had to improvise, for example me on all fours with my backside up high, on the floor. This helps for a deeper penetration.
I think if you google sex positions for overweight people you will find some good info.
I've been with a big guy and it was fine even though his sex drive seemed pretty low. Maybe the issue is actually his health is effecting his erection? I think it effects men's penis and sperm health a lot. They also tend to be shy about it. My big guy didn't seem to have sperm but was also blind to the fact and not as worried as he probably should have been and brushed the issue off. I think go see a doctor first by yourself and explain your concerns about his health. Maybe they will have some advise on where to start.
Weight gain, drinking, smoking and high blood pressure can all effect the size and ability to maintain erections.
We are going through this at the moment. Luckily hubby talks to me about it. We've done some research and it all is going to come down to a healthier lifestyle. He also feels like he is letting me down so for a while he stopped even trying and pushed me away so he didn't have to own up to it but now that we've talked I'm ok with it. We try and if it doesn't work then we finish me with toys. I have a very high sex drive. We also found that affection outside of the bedroom is just as good as actual sex somedays and sexy play doesn't always have to lead to sex. We wind each other up and when it's working we go for it. He knows how to turn me on and we work out how to maximise what he does get so that it works. But we are about to start our healthy life journey together now so we can improve things. Going to the gym or exercising will keep blood moving around the body and will help to lower blood pressure (even though it rises during exercise). High blood pressure when resting means the body is trying hard to push the blood around and it just can't pump enough to the penis to keep it erect. Exercise also increase endorphines and certain hormones too.
Smoking and drinking also effects it and we are looking to cut down the amount of those we both consume.
It's not as uncommon as you think.
I’ve just started a fling with a bigger fella. Huge big belly he has (I love it) and I literally just sit on top of his penis with my legs stretched out in front of me. Takes some getting used to but it’s pretty damn good now we found our groove. He doesn’t have a problem maintaining an erection but his ejaculate is minimal, almost non-existent at times too.
Thank you for asking this. I'm in the same situation with my husband. He has put on about 30 kilos since we meet and he appears and feels smaller. Which puts me off having sex. I would never tell him that though, he already feels bad about his weight.
Maybe its not what he eats but how much he eats?? Any exercise?
Maybe suggest going for a walk.
Not nice that he said you're loose :(