What would u do if u had a suspicion but no proof that your partner may be doing shady things behind ur back? He has a history of doing stupid stuff. Would u wait for proof or call it quits bcoz it means there’s no trust? He won’t tell me the truth unless I have proof so it’ll be put down to me being psycho if we split. We have 3 young kids.
6 Replies
This is so hard. Is it a strong suspicion? I’d like to say I’d calmly wait for proof but once you suspect it can be so hard not to see or not to find what your looking for. I wish you luck.
There must be some red flags waving if you think he is up to no good. I think when you wait around for ‘proof’ you just end up making yourself crazy.
If you can’t trust him, and you can’t trust him to answer the hard questions truthfully. The relationship is done.
If he’s the type of guy to call you psycho, he’s going to call you psycho even if there is proof. He doesn’t sound like a good guy.
I think it depends on the "history of stupid stuff". It's clear you don't trust him or don't believe his changed from his past issues. Whether he is or isn't doing the wrong thing, I think you'll always have trust issues with him.
Sounds like a dodge ball of a dude. “I’m not giving you the answer unless you have proof”. This means “I’m guilty but you can’t prove it” if he had said “babe, I’m not doing that” but because he’s telling you, that you need proof and you’re just hanging around for the proof you need making yourself crazy then honestly he’s being a douche bag. Knows he’s doing wrong but will make out like your leaving him and he’s the good guy. Ignore that. When people take his side just say - if he wasn’t being such a dodgy bloke I’d keep him around but he is a dodgy bloke and I’m not sticking around when he’s untrustable. If there’s no trust there is no real way of having a good relationship. Cut and run if you want to but don’t stay out of fear of being the crazy person.
Seriously though
If you think he’s cheating say to him
“Let me look at your phone, right here, right now... not in two minutes”
If you think he’s on drugs, buy a test and say
“Pee in this cup, now, not tomorrow, not tonight but now”
There’s no way of putting it lightly. There’s no way he can say no. If he says “you don’t trust me” tell him “you don’t give me any reason to trust you right now and if you want me to trust you then you’ll help me to trust you”
Yes I would do this, yes I would take my partners refusal to let me see his phone as evidence and yes I would make my partner take a drug test if I thought he was on meth/speed/cocaine/opiates etc becasue I am not going to be put through it again.
Nope been burnt before. Now I know that someone that gives you that feeling is not someone that would be kept in my circle.