After 30 years of combined bank accounts and a shared debt of $300,000, how do i prepare to leave? I think that in 12 months when our child finishes hsc would be a good time. I don't want marriage advice or judgement, just what i should be doing to prepare. We have seperate incomes but all bank accounts are joint. I don't want to announce anything until i am ready to go. Please post anonymously.
6 Replies
Go to centrelink, get a lawyer and leave the douche non woman makes plans lightly behind you 100 percent! Good luck a stress free mental heakthbfree life awaits wahoo
Start putting small amounts of money in a separate bank account. Research what sort of rentals are available in your area and how much bonds are etc. If you have a family member of friend who could take you in, for short term then that might help too. I’d also get some legal advice from a women’s legal service. It really does help to understand your responsibilities and your to be exes responsibilities.
When the time comes sit down and talk to him. Have a look out for rentals so you know what costs you will be looking at. You have your own income, so don’t rely on him financially so that shouldn’t be an issue. Sort out any savings accounts to be divided when you leave also any debts, that way your both still paying them off so they don’t go to collection. I’m not sure why he has to be a douche (you haven’t said he is in your post) and it doesn’t need to de done in secret. You may find that you can both work this out amicably and not have to hide money ect.
Get a PO box. Set up a separate bank account with a new bank. Not your existing one. I set up an account in MY NAME ONLY with online statements and they sent a statement addressed to my husband to our home address... apparently they HAVE to send one a year... That was awkward. With your employer get the payroll team to split your pay. Don't transfer it from your bank AC. Withdraw cash With your groceries. Deposit to your new account. Go to centrelink if you need to. Change a few things to the PO box if you need to see a solicitor ect. Good luck x
As others have said, open a seperate account.
Instead of withdrawing/transferring money from your shared account, get pay roll to do it. Tell them to transfer X amount to your account the majority to the shared. That way there are no questionable transactions.
I'd also suggest looking at "the barefoot investor", and focus on smashing as much debt now, before you leave. Because yes, you will still have the debt after seperating.
I have done this and agree with your timing, get your kids through school. I then got myself a PO box and a new bank account. Have your pay go to your new account. Start changing addresses on everything. Change your will and the beneficiaries of your super. Don't pay a lawyer!!!!! I don't know how much I can stress this, they charge a fortune. Hire a mediator who is qualified and do your financial settlement with them, they can even lodge it with the court and do all of that for a fixed price. Do your financial settlement early. Keep youe kids in the loop when the time comes and don't badmouth their Dad, they probably love him. Most importantly, make a list and follow it. I now stay home every New Years Eve and update my list of goals for the next year...if things are written down, they happen! Best wishes, look after yourself, you will amaze yourself with the strength you will find