How do you deal with kids and technology? Kids these days have to get used to having these items in their life, but how do you get them use to self regulating? My 10 year old has terrible attitude when he is asked to hope off the iPad or Xbox. I ground him, I tell him there is no more tech until we say so. But to tell the truth, we don’t know what to do. Please don’t say not to give it to him, please don’t say we are the adults and we need to discipline him. We are at our wits end and need help with assisting him with self regulation or something to help him learn when enough is enough
3 Replies
Honestly he can't. He's 10. Screens are so super addictive, and even adults can't regulate themselves.
My kids do this and that when I know to take it away. I completely take it away. They will ask for it, but they can go a week without it. On weekends, give it for limited time, with a task ie) half an hour before bath, or an hour to play a game after lunch. Then take it away again.
I've also heard that it's best to measure screen time in terms of completed activities instead of time, as whatever you're doing can take different amounts of time and turning it off unfinished is incredibly frustrating, same as trying to complete something knowing you have inadequate time. However, with games, you would need to understand his game in order to know how to set those kinds of boundaries so that's he's not on there for too long.
We have a system in our home and it works fairly well.
We have sat down and discussed ' a contract of use' outlines caring for our devices, safe use of the device etc' consequences for poor behaviour and use of devices etc.
1 hour after home work, readers chores , sports , showers etc are done during the week. Controllers and devices go in a tub when time is up. We log a time and use a timer to adhere. Sometimes for good behaviour we will be more leanient.
On weekends they can often use them in their down time a little less regulated. But only after family time , activites are done. They have made something, read something, helped someone, done their chores, played outside. In the afternoon we generally are a little more lax and if they have done what they have to , then we tend to let them go.
They know 45 minutes before bed no devices , as both my kids are poor sleepers.
There reasonably compliant but we still hear the odd protest and disastifaction because they really enjoy it.
I think just role modeling positive behaviour and sitting down and taking about it may help.
You said not taking the device but maybe in the short term if he/she can't cooperate more positively then articulating enough is enough and that if it continues then they will lose it for a period of time may be what they need to learn to self regulate.
This is why my kids don’t have technology.! I know I’ve made the right decision when I read these posts. I feel for the kids today who are all so addicted to screens and not growing up how we did.