How do I teach my 1 and 2 year old about personal space!?
I. AM. TOUCHED. OUT.
I'm a full time stay at home mum and I am touched 24/7 and I hate it!
I hate being pulled on (pet hate, especially around my neck) having to step around kids when just trying to walk ortrying to put a bin bag in the bin and having to move the kids 20 times. They have ample toys but just want me and its driving me insane.
TOUCHED OUT
TOUCHED OUT
Posted in:
Kids
10 Replies
I know how you feel but at this age its very normal for kids and a good thing. I have no advice I'm sorry but as they get older this will happen less.
It can be annoying but my advice is enjoy it now while it lasts, before you know it they won’t need you as much, then the cuddles and contact stop, Then suddenly they are teenagers and you are nothing but someone who washes their clothes and cooks them meals.
Believe me, one day you will miss it
But she's NOT enjoying it. Stuff like "enjoy it, they'll be grown before you know it" is unhelpful when mums are on the edge (or getting close). Being touched constantly, or having tiny people in your way or hanging off you all the time - it saps your energy, your patience. Some people don't mind, others have a limit. Comments like yours don't help, they create guilt. Mums think "why can't/don't I enjoy it?" "What's wrong with me?" "Don't I love my kids enough?" Everyone is different and it's ok not to enjoy it all the time.
Exactly! Feeling nostalgic 10 years from now isn't going to help her get through today.
I get where you're coming from. I've never been a hugely touchy person and like my personal space so I struggle sometimes. For me I pick my battles - so if I'm at the table eating or having a cup of tea I'm off limits. If I'm in the bathroom the doors shut and they have to stay out. My kids are still young but they're learning
I know it's hard. Partly, you need to accept it. It's normal for their age. But you can do some things to make you feel LESS touched out.
Can you baby gate the kitchen off for more freedom in the kitchen?
Can you take out an hour per week to recharge on your own. Anything goes... doing groceries alone ect. Being a SAHM is hard and you need some form of timeout.
Can you start telling them, 10 minutes worth of cuddles and then we need space! (Something I've told my kids from early on).
Mum vacation time. Try a weekend away with the girls!
I know its hard mumma but like you said you are with them 24/7 and you are their safe place.
Could you put them in daycare one day a week, so you can have a break?
Or maybe a playgroup or play dates so they are playing with other children and leaving you alone?
Take time out for you everyday, even if it's just 10 minutes to do something just for you without anyone else nearby. You can increase the time as they get older, orif someone is available to watch them for you. Baby gates are great so the kids can't get into specific rooms (Or to keep them in a specific room). Always reassure them that you'll be back. Good luck!
Hi OP - I hope you are ok after reading the facebook comments. There are some pretty harsh comments. You are completely within your rights to feel touched out. Try and take some time for you away from the kids once hubby is home. It's also ok to say no to your children if they are constantly doing something that you dislike - it will take time but they will learn that mum doesn't like being pulled on constantly or whatever the issue may be. Give them love and attention and one on one time but they also need to learn boundaries. It does get easier as they get older