I've been with my current partner nearly 3 years. I have 3 children from a previous relationship who I have 50/50 shared care with their dad. My partner quite often has me questioning my sanity and if I do something that upsets him he will make me feel like such an awful person. It's always silly little things. When I apologise its not good enough because I haven't said exactly what he wants me to say. We will go days without talking because I just shut down. I've never cried as much as I have in the past 3 years. If I'm going through something I'm expected to just deal with it and he doesn't want to enable any type of behaviour that is depressed and often leaves me alone when I am in my worst states and calls me names like nasty. When he goes through any stress he spends days on the couch eating everything in sight and making me feel bad. I've helped him mentally through so much and have received such hurtful words while doing so. I know my children know when I'm sad, but they love him. He is also very needy and if he doesn't get the attention he needs, again I'm made to feel like crap. I've recently had surgery and now he's going through stuff I'm having to deal with that instead of working getting better myself. I'm at a loss, if it is mental health issues I understand it's not easy but I don't think it's right to tear apart the person who is just trying to help.
8 Replies
Sorry - Classic Narcissist š¢ good luck sweetheart. But know itās not normal to have to tear someone down he needs help. If he is open to working on this then Iād say give it a red hot go. If not it maybe time to cut your loses! Your children may live him but that behaviour isnāt what you want role modelled!
Yes - exactly what I was going to write.
You deserve to be happy and to feel loved and supported in your relationship. Your children deserve a happy mum. The way your partner is treating you is not normal. You deserve so much more - how you go about that is up to you
You can't love someone who does that to you, you love the person he once was and who you want him to be, but that person is no longer there.
Time to leave for yourself and your children.
Whilst you stay you are teaching your children what to accept.
Read that back as if it was your daughter telling the story... what would your advice be? Thatās right... kick the dead beat out! Do not stay just coz āyour kids love himā. You donāt want him as a role model for your kids. You deserve so much better, life is too short to be living it like that!!!
He is only treating you with what you allow. I know itās not as easy as it sounds but you need to get tough and stand up to him. Stop putting him first!! You need to put you first now and be there for the kids who need you. He is a grown adult! He can look after himself. You need to look after yourself first.. i couldnāt put up with it.
People give you the advice to leave but have no idea what itās like to be in the situation. Iām going through it myself and am doing the best I can
You need to leave! There comes a point where you need to do what's best for you. Your not married (by the sounds of things) and don't have kids together. Get out while you can and while it's easier!