Hi ,
Im mostly after peoples opinions and if this is a fair call.
I have been separated from my childre's father almost 9 months (off and on for 3 years). Recently a discussion between myself and his mother came up. I work 4 days a week and currently the father is off work and also cares for the children every 2nd weekend. The discussion was when the children are sick at their fathers place they are bought home immediately e.g daughter 4 years started vomiting 11pm at night, father bought her straight home. The mother also has told me they are in my care so i need to work it out. And that it is only mother's Job to look after the sick children not the fathers.
I am after peoples opinions and is this a fair call or not.
Thank you.
Sick Children
Sick Children
Posted in:
Kids
14 Replies
He's a parent not a babysitter. Just think how lucky you are you don't live with that anymore, what a pig.
Agree!
Agree!
I feel like i need more context.
How old are the children?
Are there any extenuating circumstances?
Most of the time, sick kids just want to be at home with their primary caregiver (which in this case is you). I mean, my kid's father and I have been together for 15 years but if the kids are sick, they dont want a bar of their dad, they just want mum.
So it may well be that the kids dont cope too well if they're sick with dad.
Is it a fair statement/arrangement? No, probably not but if he won't care for them when they're sick, what can you do?
It's not like you can refuse to take the kids back out of principle, someone's gotta look after them...
Ah, no. Evidently no. Have they been to mediation to sort out custody? If not, do it ASAP!!!
I’m a little different if my kids are sick I like them to come home.
Not because I don’t trust their dad to not care for them but I know they’d be more comfortable with me as their primary caretaker.
If he wanted to keep them while sick he can and I wouldn’t stop him. But if I was given a choice yeah I’d want them home.
I guess for me it’s about what the kids want more than what either me or their father wants. After all they are the sick ones :)
FYI I don’t agree with his mums comment that’s just rude and possible more of an issue for me that who should care for the sick children while coparenting
Oh hell no. He needs to start being a parent. He is not a child care service and he isn’t a babysitter.
It’s not just the mothers job.
Truth be told, the kids are with him twice a month. Chances are they would be more comfortable at home with their mama if they're sick.
The way i see it, this is one of those things where you need to decide if you want to push the issue and be right? Or do you want to do what's in the kids best interests, whether or not that's "fair"?
Because MIL sound like she's stepped right out of 1955 and your ex sounds incompetant and ill equipped to properly deal with sick kids.
My initial reaction was - “what a pathetic human” that he can’t look after his children when he is sick..
However if they are calling out for mum. How lucky are you that he puts his ego aside and brings them home. My best friends ex doesn’t even let their child call my girlfriend when she asks and as he is interstate now he has her for 7-10 days at a time.
Pathetic And selfish. Seems like he sees himself as a good time dad, and his mumsl sounds like the reason.
No he can't force you to do the shit bits, you don't have to take them back just because someone has to look after them. You have options.
If he really wouldn't look after them well (or even try with advice) then hes not a capable parent and shouldn't have custody.
Of course they want to be home with mum if that's all they know. They can be just as well cared for at dad's, it just takes a few times for them to feel it. That's not a good enough reason to force mum to continue to pick up his slack he's barely doing anything already as it is.
No reason he can't care for them. However, if my youngest daughter has anything wrong with her, the only person she wants is me. Maybe he's trying to put the kids needs above his own.
Obliviously they aren’t capable of looking after the sick kids.. surely between both of them they can help your daughter. Best they are home with you by the sounds of it.!
Why is he only having them every 2nd weekend?
All you bloody martyrs, you’re sending us back to the dark ages!
My kids didn’t have a preference who to go to when sick because I didn’t make myself the be all and end all of parents.
He’s parenting when they’re with him, not baby sitting. Suck it up fella. Get a bucket and clean up some spew.
And why is MIL having a say? Does he live with her?
Fucking useless dead beat dads....And you women with your antiquated notions only perpetuate this misogynistic crap 💩
Blaming women for men being dead beat dads is also pretty misogynistic.
But don't mind me, just pointing out the irony...