Advice on dealing with an ex partner
Looking for advice.
So I have been with my partner for a few years. He shares a child with his ex. And we are expecting our first child in a few months. The ex also has a partner and 2 year old boy.
Generally everyone is friendly and able to get along. We even do joint events for birthdays and christmas.
However, every now and then we hear or see on social media the ex badmouthing my partner. And normally this is just ignored to avoid drama.
There have been times where things have been said to my step daughter. She is 7. And she will tell us.
I am aware children sometimes do not relay the right information completely or can take things out of context but I am also aware of what her mum is like. So I find no reason not to believe my step daughter.
Things like the dad doesn't pay enough child support. Even though the money is taken out by the child support agency. He even pays her half of the cost of everything as he is aware child support does not cover much.
Or telling the child his dad doesn't care enough as he doesn't see her enough. She is in our care every weekend for the whole weekend. She has also been told his dad chooses to go out and party instead of spending time with her on the weekends. This is so untrue.
My partner maybe goes out 1 a year and doesn't drink.
Basically should this continue to be ignored to avoid drama or is there a time when enough is enough and a conversation is to be had?
I know it is not my place to say anything to the ex but just wondering what others think.
6 Replies
I will watch this post because we are going through the same! I have tried to encourage my partner to get some kind of order against her or send her a Cease and Desist letter but he just ignores it. I hate it.
I feel for you. It can be so frustrating.
I find it hard not to say something sometimes.
The family courts are a total toothless tiger when it comes to these situations in Australia. Don’t waste your money or emotional energy. Saying anything will most likely escalate the situation.
Instead I’d spend money on speaking to a family therapist about what to say to the child when she says these things.
Thank you for the suggestion.
We try our hardest not to say anything negative about the mum in front of the child. And don't react when she will tell us even if it's nasty.
Currently when she tells us we just explain that she shouldn't have to hear these things about her dad as it's not fair on her or her dad.
She gets told personal things about what happened in her mum and dad's relationship. But She understands there is 2 sides to every story.
Get him to attend mediation with relationships Australia. They make you watch a video on this before they will see you and the fees are resonalble based in income. They don't do orders but can get a parenting agreement. What she is doing is called parental alienation and she needs to stop as it is so damaging for the child.
They are really gentle but firm and encourage discussion.
This is such a great idea. Thank you.