Hi ladies I need some advice on couples councilling..
Bit of background been together for a 11 years he had 4 children before we met we now have 3 together and one of his older son's live with us his 17. So we have been though a lot together over these 11 years but since having his son move back in with us things have gotten wrose I will not add to many details as it's a long story but in the short I found out he has been lieing to me and giving his son things behind my back we have now come up with compromise as I feel if order to get something like money etc that the children should do a few chores around the house nothing big but like wash up after dinner keep room tidy clean up after dogs. So we put chores in place for all the children but more so Mr 17 so he can earn money without being givin behind my back.
I'm at the point now where I don't know if I can trust the man I love so much is not still lieing to me.
Who has done couples councilling how you go about finding out where to start and if it dose help he feels he can't talk to me about things and I feel I can't trust his not lieing to me about things with son.
Plseas no harsh comments I'm not in the right mind frame to handle it.
Couples councilling
Couples councilling
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health
3 Replies
Lying or not telling you?
If it was one of your bio kids would you mind?
Lying if ask did you give him money he would no I didn't give him anything.
Yes i would mind if was one of our children I look at his son as my own I've been in his life since he was 6 years old. Reason I put a stop to him having cash was because of what it was being spent on (weed) and I was trying to teach him a lesson his mother let him do it at her house and I don't allow it here. His dad dose it here n there but knows not around or near me n kids.
Lying is certainly a red flag! ESP over something so trivial.
This is a really hard dynamic. As Dad is in the do as I say not as I do camp. I would expect weed smoking in a 17 year old not a grown man. So it would seem a little hypocritical to Mr 17.
The lesson you need to teach is not working on your hubby, and not even considered by his mother, why would he listen. You guys need to present a united front. Withholding money won’t stop the drug use. But it’s certainly makes it trickier but only counts if hubby is on board!
I don’t envy you this battle!
Start by finding a counselor who specialises in couples that will give an unbiased opinion and strategies you can work on so he feels he can talk to you and you feel you can trust what he says.