Am I overreacting?
So my husband owns a business and works from home (in a seperate shed). For the last 6 months he has had his employees work with him in his office at home. On Friday’s he finishes up early and throws a work bbq in our entertaining/bbq area. Now I 100% support the whole work bbq thing and enjoy prepping everything for it etc however one of his workers has made some very worrying comments: out of the blue this bloke says “yeah, I had to tell my mate to tell his little girl not to sit on my lap coz it makes me get a boner” Another time my 7 year old daughter was playing shops and asked him to cone and buy something from her shop and he said he can’t because he has no money so my daughter said to write his name and number down and she would let him pay next time. His response was “you only want my number so you can date me, why do you want my number? Are you gonna ask me on a date?” My 7 year old was so confused. He made plenty of other strange comments and is constantly talking about sexual things. On every occasion I have pulled my husband aside and told him that his comments are inappropriate and I feel they are huge red flags and he has said that I’m being dramatic and brushed these comments off as nothing. Said employee was fired a month or so ago as he stopped showing up for work however still attends the work bbqs. I’ve given my husband the ultimatum that it is me and our children or him. If he has this worker here I’m taking the kids away until he’s gone. Am I over reacting? I feel like if something were to happen id never forgive myself knowing there been so many red flags and signs of grooming.
21 Replies
My husband would flip his lid if any of his work mates said anything of the sorts even so much as in the vicinity of our children, I would actually hate to think how he'd react if something like that was said directly to our kids.
So I find it a bit bizarre that your husband sees no issue with it and is acting like you're being dramatic, is his judgement that clouded by whatever bromance they've obviously got going on??
100% Do what you gotta do to keep this man away from your kids. He sounds like a complete creep!
Trust your gut.
So my husbands reasoning is that this man is quite a simpleton and is ‘only joking.’
His family, his friends, my family, my friends and I bet the majority on here agree with me so I guess just looking for outsiders opinions so he’ll open his eyes.
And that’s how they get away with it.. pretending they are only joking, so no one thinks anything more of it coz it’s out there. It’s no joke to talk around little girls like that. He is def a siko.!
So my husbands reasoning is that this man is quite a simpleton and is ‘only joking.’
His family, his friends, my family, my friends and I bet the majority on here agree with me so I guess just looking for outsiders opinions so he’ll open his eyes.
Well, I do hope the overwhelming consensus here puts it into perspective for your husband.
If this guy is such a 'simpleton' that he thinks making sexual jokes/inuendo towards a little girl isn't crossing a line then he shouldn't be around kids period! He might just be weird and socially inept but when children are involved, it's not a risk anyone can afford to take (I'm very glad you know that Xx).
Fingers crossed hubby comes to his senses!
How did the bbq go last night?!
Friday BBQ didn’t happen. Husband has now told this guy he’s not welcome here.
I have never met a man that jokes about that stuff. I have 5 brothers, 3 brother in laws and a husband... all of them tradies anf "blokey"...
Not one of them or their friends would joke about that or find it funny. Without hesitation remove your children from that situation and tell your husband to wake up to himself and protect his kids.
I agree with you! I’d have drawn the line in the sand too.
It’s not ok to have that creep around your children.
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all! He sounds like a creep and someone I wouldn’t want around my kids either. Your husband needs to take your concerns seriously and ask this guy to stop coming over. If he doesn’t I would be bailing with the kids as well.
Sounds very creepy 😬
My partner is not a violent man, in fact he is the complete opposite. He doesn’t even raise his voice BUT if one of his friends had said any of those comment to one of our girls I can grantee he would have been taken out the front and gotten a smack in the mouth! How dare you husband push aside your concerns to keep your baby safe, this is inappropriate, disgusting and lots of big red flags! That”man” wouldn’t be stepping foot inside my property again
I feel physically sick reading this , please please please get your children away from this man. As someone who’s dealt with a child being tampered with do not let this slide
I think yo need to notify the police of what this man has said/ done. He could very well be harming many kids and no u have every right to keep this creep away. If your hubby won't tell him to keep away, you need to!
I would want him gone too. You could remove the kids for the bbq. Or instill a new rule that all workers/visitors need a blue card, the expense might get rid of him with not much fuss.
We have a neighbour who is much the similar down to the point of the boner comment. We no longer attend social events with the neighbours and have blocked him on all social media platforms along with his wife and adult kids. We changed our fences and blinds to complete blockout and never open them!
RUN FOR THE HILLS! My Dad had a friend like this and the guy sexually abused me when i was 8.
He made those comments, he would talk sexually, he would walk in on me in the bathroom.
If hubby keeps having this guy over and doesn't listen , you need to get out. Before you Princess is a statistic like me..
Hi there. Something reasonable similar but with a creepy neighbour was the reason for the break down in my marriage. After many years of arguing about the fact that I felt my neighbour was unsafe around our children and my husband brushing off my comments, I finally had enough and split from my husband. The trust broke down and I felt unsupported. Nothing ever happened to my children and to this day I still feel I was right to follow my gut instinct.
If that man no longer works for your husband, he shouldn’t be coming to the bbq’s at your house.
Do what you feel is right but either remove him or remove your children from the situation. He sounds like creep.
Ewww he sounds like a sicko and you are a good mumma for going with your gut on this and standing up to your husband. Your husband needs to stop him from attending. If someone spoke to my daughters like that my husband would lose his shit. That’s not normal talk from a grown man. That’s sick! Google his name and see if anything comes up. I wouldn’t let him step foot at my house again. Your husband needs to man up and tell him he isn’t welcome there. Yuk can’t believe a grown man would say such a thing to a little girl. It’s dec not normal. Keep doing what you are doing best and that is protecting your children. You are an amazing mumma.
No way would I have this man at my home, near my children. You are right to trust your gut. We are on a property and have on occasion had men here working with my husband who have given me a bad vibe. I have discussed this with my husband and made sure my kids were never to be left alone with said men. Husband thinks I'm crazy BUT respects my wishes. It's fantastic your husband has eventually come around and the creep is no longer welcome. I would rather look or sound a bit crazy or overprotective than to let slip and have the possibility of my children being damaged for life. Good on you mumma. Xx
I would be incredibly worried about this, and I mean your husband's reaction. This person is creepy and there are massive red flags. Your husband is choosing to keep this guy in your lives, even after you expressed your disapproval. It might be time to trawl through your husband's computer, because this whole things screams creepiness.