Challenging workplace behaviour is causing anxiety

Hi ladies, long post sorry. Seeking some reassurance or opinion. I manage 15 staff, one of which works with me every day and we’ve worked as a close team for 5 years. This one staff member has always been a high performer but also highly emotional and demanding for praise and attention and this has taken careful management by me - however things have become very challenging over the last couple of years, with two incidents in that time where he has screamed at me, called me names and the second time he screamed then his tone became cold, I did not feel safe in the office alone with him and I have never felt that shaken in my entire work life. I was in tears and completely horrified. My management did not want me to lodge a formal complaint and dealt with it by meeting with us and making it very clear to him that the behaviour is not acceptable. We both also had the opportunity to discuss our concerns, he said he had none, apologized for his behaviour and said he was worried about his mother. He also committed to getting some help, things had since been okay I thought until 3 days before I was to go on two weeks leave - he tells me that incident meeting was managed badly by my boss that it was one sided and that his concerns were not addressed (I can say he would not express any concerns at the meeting to address the incident, he was completely supported to share and I have always wanted feedback from him - he just kept saying he was worried about his mother who’d been unwell). I have let my boss know that this staff member isn’t happy and I’ve told the staff member that it’s important they share their feedback directly with my boss and if he doesn’t I feel obliged to do so, it’s important and I I don’t believe it’s okay to express that just to me particularly as he states he’s so unhappy. I went on leave and am due to return next week but I don’t think I can yet - I’m worrying about the behaviour I might return to, I’m having chest pain when I think about it, I feel anxious, I’m talking about it all the time, I’m feeling completely inadequate and of little resilience. So I’ve told my boss I will need an extra couple of weeks leave to look after my health - I plan to get counselling, return to good habits and have a plan for when I return to work. That decision was so freaking hard, I feel anxious about doing it but since letting my boss know I feel like it was the right approach. I’ve never done this before. Any advice to offer?